Truly deserving winners of the inaugural Strictly Come Dancing Peace Prize.

Diva down!

Despite what Balvinder looking up at you like she’s going to ask you to donate to a charity for Dance Off Orphans in the opening 30 seconds of the show, this is The Semi-final and not a charity appeal

she looks up to you because you let her down, folks.
But y’know if your truly insane run on this show – Balvinder won 50% of ALL the Dance Offs this series and she probably would’ve won MORE if she’d gone up against La Voix and Stefan at any point – has to come to an end, you might as well end it with a salsa that feels like you’re trying to steal someone’s lunch money

“The Rhythm is Gonna Get You” has never sounded like more of a threat.
I don’t think I would’ve ever come into this semi-final thinking that Balvinder’s Salsa would be her highest scoring of her two dances. But it was very deservedly so on account of this extremely ugly floor choreography in the middle of their waltz – WHY DIDN’T YOU PUT THIS AS THE END, JULIAN? Instead of making Balvinder heave herself up like she just slipped on ice

this is what I imagine George looked like as he mounted the table to perform his little sexy Snoopy dance but Alexis had the good idea to spare him that indignity with 5 seconds of vamping for her LIFE

I’m kind of obsessed with George’s Samba. Out of absolutely nowhere, he’s suddenly a Mediterranean Lothario whose aim is to steal the banking details of vulnerable and desperate older women – it’s like Lewis died for his sexy, sexy sins

SHIRLEY NO! Please cancel all your cards and phone your bank immediately!
I was almost all aboard The George Train and then you know, he muttered my Inexplicable Grudge activation phrase: “Inbetweeners themed Charleston”

it’s like Tilly Ramsey’s incredibly overmarked Matilda School Girl Couple’s Choice became an incredibly overmarked annoying teenager Charleston

I do appreciate a Charleston that does something a little bit different with the characterisation beyond “gurning and gooning 1920s socialites”. I’m just confused about… THIS direction??? And then learning that this was a specific request from George himself does at least explain a little more as to why they didn’t let him have a Couple’s Choice that was actually his choice – his decision making process is insanity.
Fortunately, The Inbetweeners of it all was based entirely on George just looking enough like Simon Bird if you squinted so it’s as much a 2025 Argos Advert Charleston as it is an Inbetweeners Charleston

but I suppose he did struggle to pick up girls just as much as The Very British Problems version of the kids from Stephen King’s IT ever did

would the judges mention George nearly body slamming Alexis into the ground with the force of Neil punching a fish? No – it was apparently not one of the many intricate details that Shirley noticed in this routine. Instead they would all insist this was George’s best routine of the entire series – I’m not even sure this was George’s best routine *this week*! I’m sorry, I’m just really partial to him dancing like a medium-sized dog trying to get dry after being put through the indignity of a bath even if it was the Chico from The X-Factor of Sambas

but just as George had his transformation into parodic heights of the distinctly Strictly brand of latin dance masculinity they’ve been pushing him to become. Karen finally gave in and did the stupid sparkly ingenue waltz the judges have been desperate for her to do ever since she danced her American Smooth in Week 8

ARE YOU HAPPY!? You’ve My Fair Lady’d Karen into her most ordinary dance yet. You’ve had your fun and gotten all self-congratulatorially misty eyed over the success of your own social experiment now just let her be!

the only person that’s allowed to cry after a Karen Carney routine is Carlos and he WILL be doing so like he just watched someone die in front of him

I also don’t know who they needed Karen to dance a high femme and dainty ballroom number because even beyond her slightly spikey and angular approach to ballroom being one of Karen’s most interesting traits, you’ve got Amber churning them out every week like a feminal sweatshop operating in the basement of the London Coliseum Theatre

the one thing this Couple’s Choice made me realise is how little I actually need to see an Amber Davies Show Dance in the finale because I really don’t know what they’re going to add? This was essentially just their Showdance. I think once Dani Dyer became an insurance hazard they had lost their designated ContempoWafter of the series and they couldn’t really replace that with Amber because her big emotional turmoil was “My West End career was originally a bit of a flop so I went and did Love Island to become stunt casting!” and that’s not relatable, Amber…

increasingly understanding why they let her talk about herself as little as possible in the VTs. I’m also sure they let Nikita personally chew up most of the episode’s budget with their Couple’s Choice because there was a slight effort to repeat Amber’s Dancing On Ice journey and off her in this semi-final because they did kind over critique her Tango – even Anton was getting in a blow

and Amber, who dances everything like it’s an end of act 1 closing number, is a contestant just about genetically engineered to appeal to him specifically.
Amber’s Showdance has been revealed to be to Rain On Me by Lady Gaga and Ariana Grande which… of course it is and does lead me to believe they’re leaning HARD into the emerging narrative of “Amber Is Being Bullied In her Instagram Comments”. And yes, it is distinctly weird for anyone to go to Amber’s socials and leave comments about how Lewis should still be in the competition when she chewed him up in that Dance Off like he was bubble gum. But I, for one, do not need a 100th #BeKindToAmber PSA

the funniest so far was Fleur trying to bait Danny Mac on It Takes Two into giving a rousing speech about social media trolling and him, very politely, just telling Amber to FUCKING LOG OFF, BABE

it’s also *very* interesting to note that as Amber’s entire narrative on this show becomes the toxicity of social media comments, George is suddenly not asked a single question about his entirely social media based career which does make him A LOT more tolerable. Why didn’t you all start bullying her sooner!? Although, I don’t think any of us could’ve done with half a series of Amber crying on It Takes Two with Nikita being a glorified tissue dispenser

the show announcing that Amber will be replaced with Layton Williams for the tour is also really not helping the general perception that the show does not care about her at all either. I’m sure it’s because she’s going straight back into the Legally Blonde tour or whatever but… they tried about as hard to keep her around as they did to persuade Thomas Skinner to come back for the final group dance

truly an all time year for casting, lads. Really smashing it! You hired everyone with the brittlest bones and most easily bruised bananas for egos. I hope your entire department is fired and replaced with someone who has Paul Chuckle’s number on speed dial.

Looking to the final, I’m pretty sure everyone and their mother must have written off Amber at this point – twice in two weeks being the only person to score a 40 and *STILL* landing in the Bottom 2? Ma’am, it’s like negative people are voting for you – you’re actively having votes taken away from you!

and so it’s very much a George vs Karen final as they get the last two entries into the Monkseal Memorial Safety Sex Face Gallery

I think it’s quite an exciting final to be honest. I can see it going both ways, George has a very motivated fanbase but his dance line-up for the final is BIZARRE. He’s got the only ballroom number in the show (it’s the bane of my life that nobody takes ballroom to the final) with his Viennese Waltz which gun to my head, I could not describe to you. Odd choice, honestly. What are the judges thinking? I think his American Smooth from Week 1 would’ve been a better choice if you wanted to show how far his partnering skills have come. Then he and Alexis have chosen to end on their Paso Doble. Strange choice but… I’ll allow it. Except he’s unfortunately doubling up against Amber’s Paso Doble and I’m afraid I don’t think George doing a Tyra Banks quality Booty Tooch is enough to fight with the well oiled machine that is Nikita’s slippery nipples

and then on top of that doubling up, both Amber and Karen are ending on Jives. I actually want to scream. There’s three of you, would it have been so hard to choose a single original dance! I do have to say though, I LOVE the idea of Karen potentially winning wearing the bedazzled football kit

I feel like she and Carlos are the only ones that have looked at it from an aesthetic view point – you’ve gotta look GOOD with that glitterball. George and Alexis opting for the dull grey Paso costume? Again, weird choice. It’s like a concerted effort to scupper George’s chances and George is somehow in on it too! He got that Radio 1 deal and immediately dipped

I would very much like next year to be a leap year in the casting process of selecting an influencer the BBC obviously wants on their payroll. I’M SO TIRED. And it certainly looks like most of you think that George may have lost the momentum coming into the final

There won’t be a prediction poll this week, but you can vote for Balvinder’s Bests and Worsts HERE.