The Apprentice, Series 16, Episode 3: Girlboss Blood Pact
If I only had 30 minutes to get ready at 4am, I’d look like this too.
Welcome to The Apprentice we have NO FUN AND NO BEER.
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The Apprentice, Series 16, Episode 2: The Limp Wizard
What? Kids like a random assortment of sinisterly floating body parts.
Apologies this is a day late, I came down with a fever yesterday and I’m almost entirely sure that it was a cursed laid upon me by Wiffy The Wizard.
Read MoreThe Apprentice, Series 16, Episode 1: Pyjama Selling Tyrant
Images that precede unfortunate events.
It’s quite impressive that they managed to take 16 candidates for The Apprentice on a cruise ship and it not result in anyone wearing a captain’s hat at any point.
Read MoreCelebrity MasterChef Christmas Cook-off: The Corporealised Form of a Trombone Slide
Paint me like one of your French turkeys.
I hadn’t initially intended to recap the festive MasterChef specials but then Oti Mabuse showed up and Su Pollard did something awful to fruit and I truly had no choice.
Read MoreStrictly 2021 – The Final: A Very Handsome Boa Constrictor
WHO. MADE. THE. BOAT?
Well, we did it guys. We’ve made it to the final and I’ve still got most of my fingerprints in tact. 3 more years of this and I’ll be an unstoppable cat burglar!
Read MoreMasterChef: The Professionals 2021, The Final: Chekhov’s Intestinal Tract
Lock him in a temple of snakes and call him Cassandra.
It’s the final, and it’s an incredibly close run race. You might even say there is but 2 inches of clingfilm between them all…
Read MoreMasterChef: The Professionals 2021, Episode 17: Warbound Sea Slug
*he sips in French*
It’s the penultimate episode so I hope you’re ready for a 40 minute advert for a restaurant you can’t afford to go to without selling your first born child!
Read MoreStrictly 2021 – Semi-final, Results Show: Contractual Midriff Quota
I needed a striking header imagine and I’m afraid it was this or Neil Jones looking like your Bad Vibes Uncle. Consider me merciful.
It’s the last hump before The Final and somehow the Halloween pro dance continues to haunt me. You’ve been warned.
Read MoreStrictly 2021 – Semi-final, Main Show: Frustrated Vintage Can-opener
I wonder what this means in the Naval Flag Code?
It’s the semi-final baby! So rev your engines and get ready to drive that glittery bus over one of your favs!
Read MoreMasterChef: The Professionals 2021, Episode 15: Makeshift Spoon-spine
Big fan of professional chefs having to try to critique toast.
It’s the final heat of the semi-finals and we are wading into Burger Discourse.
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