Your Premium Reality TV Recapping Nightmare
Not now Barbara, we’re in the midst of a pandemic.
The designers are let loose on a trio of independent shops and we have to contend with the conundrum that is “What is the journey for the dog?”. We may never know.
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Some people say that if you hold a raccoon filled water feature to your ears you can hear the streets of New York.
This week the potters will be tackling the animal kingdom with animal inspired water features and later being more aghast at strawberry planters than you thought anyone ever could be.
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Who amongst us didn’t try to cut their own bangs during Lockdown?
I hope you like Rusicals because there is 11 minutes of it in this episode and maybe 3 cast members who can sing. It’s like high school theatre all over again.
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Did they purposefully dress as the most fashionable couple in the Wild West?
It’s Snatch Game week which can only mean two things: abominable accents and mild disappointment!
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I have always thought Claudia Winkleman was at least 1/4 raven.
It’s the final and we can finally know who wil be taking home the prestigious trophy that is a wooden spoon within a bell jar – the perfect lockdown metaphor.
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When you’ve got a wedding at 11:00 and a line dancing hoedown at 12:00.
Do you like countryside estates? Do you like weddings? Do you like headache inducing lemurs? If so, we’ve got the perfect hour of television for you!
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Tea towels at full mast, the international signal of culinary distress.
Welcome to the semi-finals where things are getting fishy and there’s not mushroom for anyone to make even the tiniest of mistakes.
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The show really went all out on villainising Amy Tinkler, huh?
Welcome to The Greatest Show Disaster on Ice where we’re one sprained ankle away from ITV taking the whole production out back and Old Yeller-ing it.
When does The Great British Stick and Poke Off start?
Hello and welcome to me trying to provide a humorous recap of one hell of a downer of an episode and I’m only partially talking about Jodie having to make an item of poultry imprisonment.
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The Masked Singer UK really hit its stride this series with the Twitter account leaning into the absurdity of the whole situation, Ken Jeong had thankfully been binned and then of course the pandemic had forced a plethora of big names into signing up the show. This all came together to create an hour of television every week that was nothing short of a sweet release.
And what better way to see it out that ranking all the contestants based on a very scientific formula I call “My Trash Opinions”?
