Lord, in 2026, grant me even half the success of Ginger Johnson.

Category is: Horrible Little Legs!

A Three Course Race

As ever, the mercifully Alfie-less final ends with the three finalists each having to cook a three course menu. And just as the competition comes to an end, so do the pillars holding up the conspiracy of the MasterChef Clock’s Capabilities that at this point only I have been proliferating for we finally get it showing a number higher than 60

I’m so disappointed. I was so invested in this clock being a really bad investment. I mean, it still obviously can’t count down more than 99:59 which is a bother when this round is 3 hours long. That’s something I will hand to MasterChef specifically, it is one of the few competition programmes that feels like the competitors always have enough time. Granted, a lot of that relies on the contestants setting themselves realistic goals. Usually we get at least one person doing a cop-out starter of a tartar or ceviche but this trio were all pushing themselves quite hard!
Dawn had a very seafood heavy menu starting with crab tacos as a nod to the cult lifestyle of LA

she was really putting effort into finally being delicate and dainty, which is why they only got 1 each instead of a full portion of 5. Which is somehow still more meat than the three slivers of steak that Alun Wyn served as a main course

SIR????? I saw the size of that ribeye!

Grace however was more put out by the fact that all he’d done with the potatoes was make chips instead of something a little more sophisticated

and loathe as I am to defend the Tom Kerridge recipe for triple cooked chips that’s been kicking around since 2011 (he’s blocked me on all socials lol) I don’t really think that’s a valid critique? Good chips are good chips, and there was more process to them than I think they were giving him credit for. Especially when he had done some more “sophisticated” elements like the bearnaise sauce and the sherry-braised mushrooms. If anything was wrong with the dish, to me, it looked more like the steak was a little bit overdone.

Alun Wyn’s starter of Butter-poached Trout in a Caviar Sauce was more of a resounding success with the judges

I really liked Alun Wyn’s through lines of showcasing things he’d picked up along the way, like the crispy potato shoelace in the trout dish and his Passion Fruit Tartlet being something of a spin on the pavlova he made with Alexina

much like Dawn he’d really pulled off going for a more dainty and fine dining aesthetic. However, Dawn’s main course of just an entire fish was anything but dainty but still presented in a way that at least felt more put together than I think she would’ve been capable of at the beginning of the series

this was the one hole in Dawn’s armour – despite the fish being perfectly cooked after being buried in its shallow grave

they couldn’t taste the Blue Butterfly Tea that she’d tried to infuse it with – a tea I am only familiar with because I know its scientific name is Clitoria Ternatea, which is a fantastic drag name. But aside from Dawn’s flavourless clitoria, her dish was still extremely well cooked with the judges particularly loving her take on a Tonnato Sauce wherein she’d swapped the usual tuna for anchovies.

Dawn was ending her menu with an American classic, opting for making S’mores a bit posher, resulting in a dessert that wouldn’t look out of place amongst a collection of nudibranchs

I do think it still looks a little bit clunky and I’m not entirely sure it *needed* the banana and salted caramel on the side but the judges were very pleased with it. Especially John’s unstained shirt

I had gone into this final thinking that Dawn was going to take the trophy, and I think there’s a strong argument to be made that she should’ve. I think she’s been extremely consistent throughout and shown a very good grasp of quite technical processes.

Lastly we have Ginger’s menu, which was essentially just a Fanny Cradock dinner in full glam. Starting with a Bloody Mary Prawn Cocktail that I have to say probably deserved a little bit of a criticism for looking like Whitby harbour at low tide

that prawn and its horrible little legs did not receive the same loving mothering that Dawn gave unto her large crustacean son

John and Grace did however rave about the cooking of her prawns and the vodka and tomato sauce.

Continuing her rummage through the Fanny Cradock dressing up box, Ginger’s main course was a Duck a L’orange Pie that looked a bit like the pie machine scene from Chicken Run had ended a lot differently

horrible little legs were such a theme I was almost half expecting her Baked Alaska to suddenly unfurl a collection of limbs like it was the titular Thing in The Thing

luckily even if it was to do that, they were setting it on fire because Ginger’s big gimmick for her dessert was a flambeéing that the show RUDELY did not dim the lights for so we couldn’t actually see it happening. But you could see the meringue slowly toasting

And then slowly burning because one cannot control an alcohol fire

the judges politely talked around the self-immolation of the meringue because the whole concept of it and the little bit of theatre was very clever.

Alun Wyn, Dawn and Ginger all did amazingly this episode and the judges were really having to nitpick in order to make a clear winner. In the end, that clear winner was of course Ginger Johnson!

I’m so thrilled for her – I absolutely adore her and think she’s been on top form all series. And if you’re one of the people that just reads the recaps, if you’re able to, I thoroughly recommend going and watching Ginger’s VT in the first 10 minutes of the episode, it’s some of the most wonderfully heartwarming TV I’ve seen all year, just a thoroughly good celebration of a queer person’s successes. GOD KNOWS WE NEED IT.

And thank you to everyone that has kept up with the recaps despite the haywire publishing schedule – there’s been a lot going on! And I’ll be honest, with MasterChef in such a weird place this year, it’s been hard to keep a passion for it but I’m super proud of the work I’ve put out with it and the fact we raised £300 for Victims.org will never cease to amaze me. You’re all fantastic and I hope you have a wonderful holiday season and if you’re waiting for Strictly, it’s coming, I promise!