The Creation of Adam (Michelangelo c. 1508–1512)

Grab a drink, we’re having (a slightly more reasonably sized) Ball!

The Sour Hour

Unsurprisingly Jimbo wasn’t going to betray her Canadian sister and had indeed pulled Janey’s lipstick which Janey is mad about because “apparently we’re choosing alliances over talent now?” – and I swear to God if we end up bringing out BenDeLaCreme’s All Star Abacus at any point this season, I will cancel maths as a concept. The name of the game is to make friends and use them to your advantage, although apparently not if you’re Monique who promptly told Janey that her talent show outfits looked like they were for a drag brunch performance. Which was very harsh, but also not wrong because they did distinctly look like the sorts of things that would play well to a crowd of people drunk on prosecco at 11am

I will NEVER forgive that romper.

Blu, being the shady little gremlin that she is, had questions about Jimbo’s lipsync, as she was of the belief that Jimbo purposefully threw it, a style of interrogation that had Monique giving a masterclass in reaction memes

obviously Jimbo didn’t, she would never do that in front of a Spice Girl! She just could not walk in those shoes and she couldn’t change out of her outfit because she probably would’ve caused an international incident with her makeup choice.

RuBall Andre Charles

For this week’s main challenge, they were throwing a ball – I’m just glad there’s only 8 queens, I’m still fatigued after Season 14’s 42 look ball – whoever decided to do that deserves pre-abolished PRISON.

The theme of the ball was, rather narcissitically, RuPaul herself with the three categories being Kitty Girl – a feline inspired look. Butch Queen, which is self-explanatory and the last one being You Wear It Well: was a dress that was inspired by RuPaul’s fashion and the queens had to make it themselves.

Kitty Cat Club

The first category was Kitty Girl, which is of course a rehash of the All Stars 4 runway and was home to my nightmare fuel that is Monet X Change as some sort of porcine mouse

whatever she was, she was most certainly NOT a cat as much as she insisted that she was doing The Pink Panther. And of course, Monique has been in this rodeo before, having done Puss in Boots

and for this she was sticking with a pop culture cat, and paying homage to Luna from Sailor Moon

this was SO GOOD – the makeup is breathtakingly good, I’m not sure the runway lighting did her costume justice – there’s a lot of sculptural shaping and different textures if you look close enough. I’m not sure she needed the big disc behind her, I imagine it was mostly covering something up on the back of the outfit. But I think Monique remains the undisputed Queens of Cats. Although, Pangina gave her a run for her money with her take on a Sphynx Cat that looked like the digivolved form of Veronica Green as Dita von Fleas

because as we know the rules for a Digimon evolution is that when you reach your final form you either grow bigger tits, get a gun, conjur jorts into existence or a combination of the three – and inexplicable horniness is mandatory.

I particularly liked the way Pangina presented her look, coming out in her big loofa, with only the incredibly beautiful headpiece on display

and then BAM! She’s the chewed gum of cats

and Daisy May Cooper was having the absolute best time of her life

We’re truly being spoiled with the guest judges on this season.

There was a definite Egyptian influence in Pangina’s look – the headpiece and the jewellery having that distinct graphic quality that we associate with ancient Egypt, and I think hers was a much more tasteful nod to it than Janey Jacké who skirted the edges of problematic

I don’t know, the posing was all a little bit close to the Walk Like An Egyptian bone… It’s a tough ask to make a Cleopatra look not look like something you can get at a costume store and I’m not sure Janey truly got out of those weeds, even if it does look like one of the more expensive Cleopatra costumes. I will however defend her from Michelle’s critique of her not being cat-like enough – I really quite liked Janey’s cat makeup and thought it was surprisingly transformative for how modest it was.

I was a little sad that more of the queens didn’t go for more pop culture references for their cat looks – I’m mostly upset that nobody did Judi Dench as Old Deuteronomy complete with little human hands and a wedding ring – that would’ve been my look. Or Garfield. But I was thoroughly pleased that someone did Bagpuss, even if it was Baga Chipz looking utterly terrifying

this is great and I love it. I wasn’t a big fan of her presentation on the runway

I just don’t think she needed to overcompensate with what is quite frankly the first look of hers that I’ve ever actually liked. Also, those are distinctly dog-like behaviours?

Cheryl also went the pop culture route with her take on Marie from The Aristocats, which I am genuinely surprised they were actually allowed to name considering GiGi Goode dressed up as Daphne from Scooby Doo in season 12 and NOBODY could explicitly say so

this is very cute, it is a touch a basic, which was allegedly kind of the point – I think the really unfortunate thing is the fact she was wearing a jumpsuit that wasn’t too far removed from the one Janey made in a single day for the final category, but at least the bow on the back was a decent size

Esme Young would approve.

With Jujubee making her cats such a big part of her brand on All Stars 5, I had quite high hopes for her runway look and then she came out in a look that does look a bit like an entrance look from season 5

does she look very pretty? Yes, absolutely – her wigs and makeup are always going to be absolutely top tier. This just feels uninspired and I can almost feel the burnout she’s probably experiencing having done All Stars 5, Queen of the Universe and now this circus in a very short space of time. But this look is about as much of a cat inspired look as her confessional look

I do want that cameo cat bolo tie.

Blu’s look also felt a little uninspired, and very much going with the When In Doubt: Sexy! rule of the runway – although quite why she was insisting this look was in anyway fetish-y is beyond me

and with Blu’s instagram being a treasure trove of absolutely incredible transformative makeup looks, I was underwhelmed by the fact her makeup was a mere blacking out of the nose and not a lot more. I’m also not getting cat from this look at all – I think it’s down to the placement of the fur on her belly which doesn’t read feline so much as it does simian – and in fact she basically just looked like Manila in the season 3 acting challenge

but you know, at least SOMEONE did a tail with their look – there was a distinctly disappointing lack of them, what is this? The Isle of Man?

Jimbo may not have had a tail but she did of course have an abundance of tits

I’m not wild about this, I think it would have been much better received if Pangina hadn’t done the same thing to a significantly more cursed result, but she did have the most CATS (2019) energy of the bunch what with her uncannily nippleless velveteen tits – Taylor Swift’s influence.

A Kitty Girl Look Ranking

1. Monique’s Luna Beauty
2. Pangina’s Whiskerson Cosplay
3. Baga-puss
4. Janey’s CleoCATra
5. Jimbo in CATS (2019)
6. Cheryl’s Basic Disney Cat
7. Blu’s Space Monkey
8. Jujubee’s Missing Cats

Butches Better Beware

I have to say, when they announced this category my heart did sink because it had the potential to be very… Just Bad Vibes but I think the queens all did really well, and I do wonder if the prompt they were given for their season prep explicitly mentioned biker gangs, because there was A LOT of that – none more so than Jimbo dressing up as the lovechild of Elvira and those sentient motorcycles from Chuck Tingle’s erotic novels because… Jimbo

do I need to add anything more to this other than Daisy May Cooper saying she wanted to see this look turned into a dildo? Because my brain hasn’t resumed functionality ever since that critique.

Cheryl Hole was also donning her leathers and I’m sure in Cheryl Hole’s Essex Wonderland, this is absolutely the butchest she’ll ever look

God bless the effort she put in by *checks notes* giving herself a marginally sterner brow? I do really like the look though, it’s just absolutely not butch. Now, had she just done the yellow jumpsuit and gone full Kill Bill? That might have worked better.

Cheryl certainly wasn’t the only one who was hoping leather was enough to pull them through the round, with Jujubee wearing what I can only describe as a Jujubee entrance look

but in her defence, nobody rocks a black mini dress quite like Jujubee – the fit on this impeccable and her face was gorgeous. And I did like the concept of her opening the blouse to reveal that she was actually 2 hydrangea bushes in a mini dress

but… the initial look just wasn’t enough of a contrast to give it the impact she wanted it to have.

But truly, nobody was going to win in a leather-off against Monique Heart doing her 80s leather daddy look

I adore the contrast between the leather and the fine sequined vest she was wearing – and when she took the lipgloss out of her codpiece, quite frankly she ended the category

My only wish is that the moustache maybe looked more like a moustache and less like the innertube of a bicycle but I’m just so happy we’re getting Monique Heart at the absolute top of her game – in All Stars 4 she was fresh off the back of Season 10 and just hadn’t had enough time to properly cook, even with making the final – but International Sensation, Monique Heart? Unabashedly slaying left and right. Maybe too unabashedly, make friends Monique, PLEASE!

I did think we would get more wigless queens for this runway, but the only one abstaining was Baga with her army cadet look

I just wish she was abstaining from the slapdash gimmicks

Baga Chipz? Playing drunk on the runway? Groundbreaking.

The only thing about this that I liked was the bandolier of lipsticks, the rest of it I really hate – there’s just absolutely no fit to that jumpsuit, and I get why, I just wish it had a touch of fashion to it, and those boots are A CRIME

it’s really not hard to find a heeled combat boot, she did not need these 70s disco nightmares.

Blu opted for a strongman inspired look, which I really want to fully love

I’m just not sure the combination of fabrics is working, it’s a little eye boggling and kind of distracts from the really cool tattoos she had stenciled on, but the star of the show was her makeup

the moustache mirroring the fingerwaves and curls is such a good touch. And I really love the way she combined masculine and feminine features in this look after her Werk Room discussion about questioning her gender and not quite knowing where she lands on the gender spectrum.

Pangina took the “queen” part of the prompt quite literally and showed up as Queen Elizabeth on a duck hunt

I can’t say I love this, I wish her makeup had maybe been slightly more transformative – if you’re going to do The Queen, then Michelle had better think you’ve got a nose prosthetic on. But what I loved was the visual of Evil Queen Elizabeth Elmer Fudd-ing about that stage

it’s just delightfully absurd and even better on the eve of the Platinum Jubilee.

And lastly we have Janey Jacké who had gone to prison

I really like this – I adore the fashionableness of the outfit, I’ve never met a structured shoulder I don’t love. But the styling is great with the wig that’s a badly growing out dye job and the pencil thin brows – it’s a very well observed look.

A Butch Queen Look Ranking

1. Monique’s Bedazzled Ass Reveal
2. Jimbo the Sexy Motorcycle
3. Blu made a Strong Point
4. Janey Jacké in the Telephone Music Video
5. Pangina’s Hanna Barbera Queen Elizabeth
6. Cheryl’s Unbutch Butch Queen
7. Baga’s Drunk Army Cadet
8. Jujubee’s Entrance Look No. 5

RuPaul 2: Electric Boogaloo

Ah yes, the obligatory make is yourself category, with the queens having to make a look that Ru might wear – and what I would have given for one of the queens to have recreated the gangrenous Angeline look from last week

but alas, everyone went with the quintessential RuPaul Starter Pack: Sparkly, Asymmetrical and easily detachable at the waist so that she can wear her tracksuit bottoms under the desk. ALLEGEDLY. ALLEGEDLY. ALLEGEDLY.

Of course there is talk about who can sew or who has learned how to sew when they were cast, I’m not surprised that a lot of the queens don’t go on to learn how to sew post-season, given that there’s probably a decent handful of drag designers selling you their bedazzled wears in your Instagram DMs. But Pangina Heals had learned how to sew, and she was very keen to show off her newfound skill by making both hers and Baga’s dresses, and it’s not like she was just fitting it slightly, she was hot gluing the stones on for Baga

this annoyed me immensely, the whole bit with Baga moaning about it being a sewing challenge was just insufferable and I’m sure did nothing to endear her to anyone at home, as she really hammed it up while Pangina was hand-stitching her dress, which was frustratingly decent in the end

DAMN YOU PANGINA.

I was worried this would come as a huge detriment to Pangina’s dress but luckily she managed to cobble together most of an outfit

it’s a good job that she really went wild with the Parisian styling because if she hadn’t looked like Mrs. Spider from James and the Giant Peach I do think she might have been in the bottom

not that flashing your weirdly barbie smooth crotch on the runway hasn’t become a strange trend, especially with Jujubee just wafting the empty nethers to all and sundry for the second time this season

this was baffling, not so much the outfit which had all the possibilities of being great, but just Jujubee’s entire presence on the runway felt like she was just begging to be released from the never ending Drag Race labyrinthe she’s become trapped in, but sadly even if she does get eliminated from this she’ll probably end up on Drag Race: Germany next year.

Drag Race Holland didn’t have a sewing challenge so I was curious to see how Janey would cope. She was being quite ambitious too by setting out to make a catsuit which, in the words of Monique Heart, “is a tough job because the fit of the pants has to be puss.” Janey did hit a momentary snag in her catsuit construction because her very pretty black galaxy-esque holographic sequin fabric was not playing ball with the sewing machine

and so she switched to a white unicorn holographic fabric for a slightly more plain result

I personally don’t really think of catsuits when I think of RuPaul’s outfits – she has the one from season 10 which was kind of iconic

but they really loved Janey’s outfit, which to be fair, her asymmetrical tulle nonsense is VERY RuPaul.

Cheryl also had lofty ambitions of a catsuit but within thirty seconds of the challenge starting had already hit a snag both because of her artistic abilities

and because she somehow managed to slice her thumb open to the point that it needed to be blurred out

which is saying something considering Pangina’s 6 feline nipples remained proudly uncensored.

Monique’s warning about a puss fit fell on similarly deaf ears with Cheryl ploughing on regardless and apparently somewhere along the lines buggered up one of the legs of the garment and so it became a mini dress, which on the mannequin did look a bit like ET playing dress up

and I can’t say it got a great deal better when she put it on on the runway

I don’t think this is even close to the worst made outfit we’ve ever seen on Drag Race – we all remember LaLa Ri’s bag dress and that time Soju tied tulle around her waist and called it a hanbock. This just looks quite dated and a bit like something Chantelle Houghton would’ve worn while she was pretending to be in a band called Kandy Floss (with a K!).

The last of the UK queens, Blu, also jumped on the catsuit train and presented a beautiful wine red look, which is a nice departure from her usual aesthetic

for a look she made in a day, it’s passable – the hems are awful and the sleeveless armhole feels rather directionless, but it was the makeup that was truly insane

obviously that closeup was VERY rude, but she looks like a hawk that’s been possessed by Pazuzu.

I was surprised when Monique said she wasn’t much of a sewer because rather famously she made just about all of her runway looks on season 10 the night before – which did show after about week 4 when she was nearing exhaustion. But she nailed her season’s first design challenge with the card dress that should have won her the episode

but you know, it’s been 3 years and she’s been busy and not talked to a sewing machine in a long time, and her dress was mostly fine, it was just a little clunky at the waist

had the bodice been solid and not split into two, she’d have easily been in the top 2 because the idea here is solid and that olive green is BEAUTIFUL on her, as is that ginormous coppery wig.

Lastly we have Jimbo, whose entire tactic was to grab every scrap of gold fabric she possibly could and then go on to only use one of them

being a costume designer definitely did Jimbo a world of good in this challenge, because her dress was actually one of the simpler ones on the runway, but it was unmistakably a RuPaul dress

and I very much enjoyed the unhinged energy between RuPaul and Jimbo in RuPaul cosplay

if RuPaul and Jimbo laughing at one another doesn’t end up as a looping 10 hour video on YouTube then quite frankly the Drag Race fandom is lost.

A You Wear It Well Runway Ranking

1. Jimbo Going For Gold
2. Janey’s Unicorn Jumpsuit
3. A Possessed Hawk in a Catsuit
4. Pangina’s Parisian Demi-dress
5. Monique’s Olive Attempt
6. Jujubee’s Crotch Display
7. Baga Didn’t Make This
8. Cheryl’s River Island Dress circa 2005

The only queens to be called safe are Blu and Baga, which I’m surprised about, I was sure they’d sneak Baga into the top, with Janey being safe, just for the drama of someone calling Baga out on stage. And by “someone” I do mean Monique, who wouldn’t wait for a producer prompt to do so.
The only real bottom 2 possibility was Cheryl and Jujubee – because Janey and Jimbo end up as the top 2, and there’s no way Monique or Pangina were going to be put into the bottom with their stellar runways.

Forever Badgeless

In a promising turn of events, both Jimbo and Janey immediately start plotting and scheming with Jujubee and Cheryl, forcing them to promise to save them if they ever land in the bottom, which isn’t a great deal to make with Cheryl considering her whole brand is that she never wins anything, which does explain why Jimbo sat her down and mostly just had her compliment her

that RuPaul wig went straight to her brain, and of course she can’t deliberate on her own and does once again resort to questioning miniature objects

that sound you can hear is the props department frantically phoning every props warehouse in London to see what other doll house furniture they have on hand.

For their lipsync, Janey and Jimbo are lip-syncing to RuPaul’s “Supermodel”, which isn’t the best RuPaul song and I do think they were trying their best to slip Jimbo a win because she could play it comedically, unfortunately even out of 9 inch heels, Jimbo was still slipping and sliding all over that stage and it was hard to tell if it was part of her bit or not and Janey was doing her best to keep 10 feet between her and Jimbo at all times while dressed as Abomasnow

it’s always a good idea to go for fringe in a lipsync, it moves well, it looks great and I think Janey deservedly wins the lipsync, even if it was a little boring all round, except for Jimbo’s slowly wilting death drop at the end

and from her bosom, Janey reveals Cheryl Hole’s lipstick

I’m not surprised, as soon as a UK queen landed in the bottom, we knew it’d be curtains for whichever one it was. I’m sad to see Cheryl go though, I really enjoy her as a TV personality and I hope we get to see more of her in the future.

And so, 7 International Queens remain

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