Hey! That’s River Medway’s thing!
Congratulations if you went into this episode unspoilt by A’whora!
Going, Going, Scone!
In true Elektra Fence fashion she’s rather had her big moment overshadowed by another queen, while also leaving a distinctly absurd mirror message in her wake
Was she signing it as Vanity, or was she expressing her love for Vanity? We’ll never know but it makes her sign off message on the runway sound positively Shakespearean.
Of course the big drama leading into this week’s episode was the fate of one Victoria Scone who is having her French Vanilla Fantasy™ put into question thanks to her knee. There’s also the fact Charity had a lucky escape and Scarlett is particularly surprise Charity wasn’t lipsycning considering because, in Scarlett’s words, “She fucked up all of the choreography.” and I would just like a word with Miss Harlett about that
it’s the drunk praying mantis calling the inebriated crane fly an alcoholic. Both of you were terrible, it’s fine ladies.
Sadly for Victoria the doctors deemed her injury too severe to safely allow her to continue further in the competition, which is probably fair considering the next episode is the girl group challenge and I’m not sure simplifying the choreography to a Westlife Key Change Manoeuvre and an Air Grab is going to cut it on the Drag Race Main Stage. I’m gutted for Victoria and I’m really sad that she never got to say a proper goodbye to this season and I’m also a little upset on her behalf that RuPaul broke this news while dressed as Fred from Scooby Doo
The disrespect. I expect nothing less than full Victorian mourning garb to be worn for a minimum of 7 episodes. I do however appreciate the valient effort from one Charity Kase to look upset while dressed like a Donkey Kong 64 level
they do at least vaguely suggest she’ll be back next series, let’s just hope her return goes better than… Well, I’m getting ahead of myself here.
Straight to Hell
The Mini Challenge this week was for the queens to don their best Straight Douche Drag in order to make a dating app profile video and I for one am livid that we were robbed of Victoria Scone doing this challenge. I am at least pleased to report that this lot’s straight drag was at least better than Blair St Clair’s attempt at the same thing
Ma’am, you’re just dressed as Ellen DeGeneres again.
The obvious go to was for the queens to just smear their faces with as much bronzer as was possible without veering into black face, which Krystal only just narrowly avoided
luckily it reads more as a baby in the midst of its first spaghetti dinner.
I’m not actually sure how funny any of these were to anyone but RuPaul who if anything probably found the accents funnier than the actual content of what the queens said because I refuse to believe anyone would laugh that hard at Kitty Scott Claus being the 500th queen to quote the perfect date line from that obscure piece of media, Miss Congeniality… Sandra Bullock who?
With most of the queens defaulting to either scally lad or The Builder Whomst I Fear, the likes of Veronica Green looking like you’d just caught the weird IT Technician at work in a compromising position really stood out
as did Charity Kase dressed as PigMaster69
but in true RuPaul style she is being paid DUST and the show seemingly started to realise they better start tossing wins to the most TV friendly queen of the bunch and with Scarlett essentially being a Stacey Solomon and Joe Swash Symbiote, she is given the win for basically being the most crude
‘Tis the Drag Race Way.
And just God bless River Medway for looking thoroughly uncomfortable for every second that this challenge went on
Truly, the queen of the people.
Camp Sights
For this week’s main challenge the queens had to send two looks down the runway, the first being a fun campy outdoors inspired look and the second being a garment that they had to make themselves from an abundance of camping materials – which did at least mean that nobody was able to grab whatever remained of the steel wool sponges that seem to be lurking in every nook and cranny of the Drag Race studio.
The Gay Outdoors
I’ll start with the pre-brought in looks and get them over and done with before getting the self-sewing shenanigans.
First down the runway and somehow being only one of two girl scouts was Krystal Versace
it’s a pretty good costume, once again I think it’s Krystal’s face doing a lot of the heavy lifting here because this pin-up hair and her mug are divine. The outfit over all just lacks a little fun and I get what the judges mean by being a little bored of what she’s bringing – it’s always beautiful but it lacks a sense of fun and ease.
Kitty Scott Clause followed as our second Girl Scout and did it exactly how you’d expect Kitty to do it
I suppose Carry On Camping is maybe a little more obscure than Troop Beverley Hills. It is obviously a very costume-y look but I’m personally fine with that – the fact she rhinestoned the binoculars is delightfully stupid. It’s also at least a lot more interesting than Krystal’s take – and to think Krystal could have looked phenomenal in any one of Phyllis Nefler’s costumes – SOMEONE SHOW HER THE DAMN MOVIE PLEASE.
River Medway was next in another rather baffling outfit except I maybe like this one?
I think there’s a really good idea in here somewhere, it just feels a touch flat – some more volume in the sleeves, a different belt and then any hem other than that asymmetrical one which looks like every child’s drawing of a dress that a popstar would wear – it’s just such an unnatural cut that really jars for me.
As for what’s happening on her head, I’m just glad someone had the respect to don some sort of mourning garb, even if it was a little bit Reddit Bro at a Funeral
A valiant attempt to reclaim the fedora, I guess.
And then there’s Charity Kase getting completely overlooked once again
it’s really beginning to feel like Drag Race cast her only to constantly underscore her as a passive aggressive warning message to Dragula and the Boulet Brothers. Because she should have been in the top just for the murder-rabbit shoes ALONE. Do some of Charity’s looks verge on being a little bit EdgeLord Creepy Pasta? Yeah sure – Cher Horowitz secretly being a wererabbit is no exception. But when you’re seemingly criticising Krystal for having drag that’s getting boring and still putting her in the top while not even deigning Charity’s drag with a comment despite her looks at least being interesting and unique within the microcosm of Drag Race drag, then it begins to seem a little weird and deliberate.
It was always going to be a hard ask to follow The Leporine Ripper but you know, Choriza May was doing… something
I think the funny thing about this look is that individually the components are actually all quite cool and interesting but then you put it all together and it becomes a little bit like Violet Beauregard found herself lost in space and trying to survive on some sort of desolate ice planet. But sexily. Hey, at least her arms are warm.
Scarlett Harlett was next
Her aim was apparently Katniss Everdeen which, sure, I guess? It’s perhaps a little more Joan Jett does Mad Max but that’s also not too far removed from some of the costumes that Suzanne Collins described in the books. I’m mostly impressed that she managed to convince the floor manager to allow her to throw something off the stage
lest we forget poor Mercedes Iman Diamond having to wander around on the runway with her bow and arrow completely slack
I’m not sure a runway walk has ever made me more depressed?
Vanity Milan followed in a look that I can only describe as “a panic”
The coat? Amazing, grand, spectacular, I have no notes. The iridescent pink catsuit? A perfectly serviceable drag staple, I’ll take it. The two bags she bought from GO Outdoors and strapped around her waist like she’s a pack mule just to vaguely meet the category criteria? Honey, WHY?
And now we move on to Ella Vaday and her attempt to revive Tarzan: The Ill-advised Broadway Musical
I’m mostly shocked she was even allowed to say the name Tarzan on the runway considering the fact the BBC couldn’t even license the image of the London Tube Map in the first series, maybe they finally got better lawyers?
As for the dress, I do like it, I think I just don’t like this very shiny satin and I do think it would maybe have worked better in a stiffer, more matte material to give it some structure, it’s all falling a little flat as is. Speaking of flat, it was brave of her to take the pith helmet off considering the vertically challenged wig underneath
I’m a little shocked Michelle didn’t have a whole spiel ready to go about it.
And then lastly we have Veronica Green dressed like Vivienne Westwood had slept in a ditch
I think it’s at least a striking look and I appreciate what she was trying to do but when the call was for fun and campy and you show up looking like something we’ve seen on high fashion runways such as McQueen, Westwood, and Galiano in amongst a whole host of looks that look they’re competing for a place in a West End production of Carry on Camping, you do stick out for all of the wrong reasons.
A Happy Campers Look Ranking
- Charity Kase’s Jackrabbit The Ripper
- Another of Kitty Scott Claus’s “Obscure” References
- Scarlett Harlett as Apocalyptic Joan Jett
- River Medway’s Lost and Mourning Reddit Bro
- Krystal Versace’s Slightly Reserved Girl Scout
- Ella Vaday’s Tarzan: The Musical Audition Tape
- Choriza May as Violet Beauregard on Hoth
- Veronica Green is Sleepless in Coachella
- Vanity Milan’s Trip to GO Outdoors
Pitching a 10
For the self-made look the queens had this assortment of outdoor gear to source their materials from
it’s actually quite a generous supply given that most of it is actual fabric, horrendous fabric but fabric nonetheless.
For winning the mini challenge Scarlett was given a 15 second head start which she wasted entirely on trying to wrangle the damn kites out of the air to near catastrophic results
and then she didn’t even bother to use them, instead bequeathing them to Veronica Green who had grand plans of creating some sort of insectoid princess look
I cannot tell you how much I adore the sketches that the queens draw during their design challenges – I think it’s because I see so much of myself in them in that I watch 1 episode of Project Runway and think I can master the art of a fashion illustration.
Unfortunately for Veronica the grand plan for her delightful little dragonfly princess never got fully realised because she seemingly spent so much time teaching Krystal the art of corsetry and lecturing Scarlett in Seam Allowance 101. The end result of Veronica’s bad handling of time management being some sort of hallowed angel of death
it’s certainly a striking look, and considerably more interesting than most of the looks that were deemed to be the top looks of the evening… It’s just not great and does unfortunately look like a depressed piñata. But I did like the makeup
the starlit sky effect in the blackened forehead has a lovely ethereal feel to it – I will however need her to burn the wig in the same pile as Vanity’s Miss Frizzle Does Jazzercise Wig.
Rather disappointingly nobody else went quite as fantastical and high concept in their inspirations, with most of the queens being happy to churn out a perfectly cute dress. Although I had high hopes when Choriza May fell in love with a top-hatted owl
and then she said that her inspiration was Villainelle, and I assume that’s Villainelle from Killing Eve? But then she said “with an eye patch and this owl friend” and I feel like there’s a season of Killing Eve I did not watch? Who played the owl? Did Jodie Comer have glaucoma?
It’s certainly a fun character and her explanation about a man jizzing in her eye and her seeking revenge with the aid of a dapper owl was at least nonsensically joyous. But the judges never respond very well to character based designs in a sewing challenge challenge – see Veronica Green standing over there looking like Abaddon at Pride. But I do have to take issue with them saying that Choriza’s look lacked refinement and them then going banana’s for Scarlett’s dress which by all means on paper was almost the same as Choriza’s
is Scarlett’s a very well made dress? Absolutely, she looks phenomenal in it and RuPaul is always going to be obligated to eat up a Cher inspired look. But I can’t with Michelle Visage heaping praise upon Scarlett for performing the miracle that is turning a blanket into a gown
I think it could have used an eyepatch, personally.
This challenge was very much the wheel house of Charity Kase who apparently often creates her looks from unusual fabrics and items – and it showed by the quality of her final outfit
that’s an incredibly well made half a dress – because it is absolutely bare assed at the back
and you would think this would be right up the judges’ alley – it’s silly stupid fun and yet we’re out here ignoring this look and then putting Ella Vaday in a cute dress and a coat in the top
not to be all Esme Young but the horrific pattern matching is really boggling me – and Scarlett’s wasn’t a great deal better! And if you’re going to do something as simple as a mini-dress, you could at least really pay attention to the smaller details. [Your Honour, she’s being petty again!] The coat is a wonderful shape though and moved surprisingly well for a coat that was made out of 2 coats. [Your Honour, she’s being petty AGAIN!]
Joining Ella Vaday in I’ll-Just-Make-a-Cute-Dress Hell was River Medway who originally had something else that weirdly never made its way to camera and on the morning of the runway she had no choice but to whip this up
and call me a hypocrite all you want, I adore this. But I adore it because I would wear this, maybe without the angular boob panel, but that dress is adorable, if perhaps a little bit pedestrian. I mean, if I can see myself wearing it, it’s definitely pedestrian. And I really loved this vintage hair and makeup on her
it speaks to my soul.
As much as I adore River’s fabric, it was Kitty Scott Claus who struck (rose) gold as she found this holographic gold fabric stashed inside a sleeping bag
and naturally she went a little bit space-age with it and produced a quite lovely little demi-Barbarella number
It’s a pretty bog-standard mini-dress but she at least made it a little more interesting with the mono-sleeve that’s cut weirdly because the 60s idea of the future was mostly weird sleeves. But I love the styling – her face just looked really pretty and her wig with the soft purple roots going into the blonde really complimented the holographic fabric
it was one of the strongest looks in terms of over all styling and concept, if maybe lacking in a little bit of an edge that the judges wanted, or didn’t want. WHO KNOWS, THE FERRETS DECIDED.
Vanity had also initially planned on going with metallics, attempting to turn a collection of food trays into an outfit
it’s probably for the best that she ditched them, although the reasoning behind it being that RuPaul outlawed silver on the runway because Vanity wore that very strange outfit in the Dragoton challenge last week is NONSENSE. But any outfit made out of those crumply silver trays would have inevitably looked like you’d dressed up as your own leftovers.
In the end she switched from the dinner trays to a bunch of ropes, mostly because they were orange and orange is RuPaul’s favourite colour – this is some GiGi Goode levels of arse-kissery and I admire the blatantness of it. As it turned out, it did not help Vanity
it’s not a bad look, she looks amazing in orange so there’s a plus but she had clearly bitten of a little more than she could chew and the effect isn’t quite as intricate or well executed as a look like this requires. And it’s nice to know she owns a better orange wig, silver linings and all that.
Lastly we Have Krystal who also mostly glued things to a corset that stood behind her looking like it was smuggling two wheels of cheese out of a creamery
I’m being a bit mean, Krystal did actually put a lot of effort into this look, I’m making it sound like she LaLa Ri’d this all together
it’s very striking and God bless her for hyping it up as “no queen has ever done soemthing like this” and my first thought was that is reminded me a lot of Aquaria’s Martian Eleganza look from the season 10 Ball Challenge
obviously not exactly the same but these two would certainly be supervillains in the same comic book universe.
But I do appreciate that Krystal kind of changed up her mug a little bit for this
Obviously, still in the realms of beauty but it feels futuristic and has a slight edginess as opposed to her usual glam, red lip and neutral exaggerated cat eye.
My favourite moment on the runway though was Nicola Coughlan pointing out that the shoes look like something Kate Middleton would wear
which isn’t technically and insult and yet distinctly felt like one.
A Campfire Couture Runway Ranking
- Charity Kase Wuzz Robbed
- Krystal Versace’s Comic Book Villainess
- Kitty Scott Claus’s Well Styled Obscure Reference
- River Medway’s Vintage Flight Attendant Who Points
- Choriza May in Killing Eve: The Lost Season
- Scarlett Harlett in a Blanket Gown
- Ella Vaday’s H&M Capsule Collection
- Vanity Milan is on the Ropes
- Veronica Green, The Gay-ngel of Death
The judging this week was bizarro and seemingly decided by letting a ferret loose in a ball pit of ideas because I truly think Charity Kase was the undeniable winner and with her getting the emotional segment of the episode and next week being a girl group challenge, I can smell a Ginny Lemon-ing on the wind.
Meanwhile sitting in the top are Krystal, Scarlett and… Ella, I think – the judging of her was wildly mixed signals but the wiki informs me she was indeed placed High, while in my tally she was in the bottom and narrowly avoided a lipsync. My Top 3 were Charity, Krystal and Kitty to be honest. As for the bottom 3, it was certainly an unquestionable Veronica vs Vanity lipsync with the judges also deeming Choriza’s take on the blanket dress to be subpar.
In the end Scarlett takes the win for mostly looking like Cher while it is of course Vanity and Veronica who find themselves in the lipsync, with Veronica excitedly pointing out that she was the only queen to never lipsync on Season 2, which is true but not for good reasons.
She’s Got Something Inside of Her
The song they find themselves facing off to was I’ve Got The Music In Me, which is an ace lipsync song so I was excited and then mostly a little bit horrified because I had not anticipated how utterly violet this lipsync would become, mostly because Veronica was ripping herself to pieces like an anxious parakeet
the effect only amplified when she started flapping down the runway looking all too much like some sort of elder dragonkin awoken from its slumber who now seeks nothing but utter destruction of the human race
the only thing able to save us from our certain doom being Veronica’s wig which became its own sentient being and bravely took on the monster Veronica had become
maybe the wig was a hero all along?
And while Veronica rose and promptly fell from draconic glory, Vanity gave a very controlled and effective lipsync, you can’t really argue with a perfectly executed flying splits, as cliched as it has become
and in true Drag Race UK fashion, the lipsync ends with everyone falling down
and we are left with nothing but carnage on the runway
I haven’t seen a Roadkill Runway like this since the glory days of Milan in Drag Race Season 4. Well done, Ladies. It’s a feat.
The result was naturally a little heart-breaking given that Veronica departed season 2 with everyone kind of feeling a little threatened by her and then found herself returning to a cast of girls with a very different dynamic and the judges clearly looking for something else too. So sadly her season 3 run ends early
I also hate it when someone gets eliminated wearing a look they clearly hate, so we’ll lie back and remember her as I think she’d want to be remembered
Porcine Medusa was an elite runway look.
I do wonder if anyone will have the chance to return given the sudden departure of Victoria but for now, 8 queens remain
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