If Drag Race was only about the reaction memes, then it’s Ra’Jah O’Hara’s Drag Race now, baby!
Wanna see a group of witches turn 10 minutes in half an hour through stiff comedy alone? Then sit tight, we have quite the episode for you!
In The Event of a Tie…
I will forever be salty about the fact that we don’t know what would have happened in the event of a tie and I’m shocked that the producers didn’t at least just lob the win to Mayhem for the added drama of a potentially ridiculous lipsync between unhinged, panicking Funky-Jan and murderous 50s housewife Scarlet Envy – CAN YOU EVEN IMAGINE? And then Ru could have finally put Jan out of her misery as that “bring us some funk” critique rattles around in her brain sending her increasingly insane. We did at least get another stellar face crack from Jan as Pandora took out the tying lipsticks out of the box in what was largely her only bit of a screen time this entire episode
if you haven’t already, I do thoroughly suggest taking a gander at Pandora’s Twitter after every episode because she is feeling a certain kind of way that she is essentially being given a ghostly edit even in episodes when she’s ranked amongst the top of the week.
While Jan sits and watches as the Werk Room walls close in around her, realising her fate as mid-out Queen – Kylie takes a moment to thank everyone for not even considering her as a potential eliminee, which Ginger quickly rains all over by telling her that, actually, she almost did because Kylie was kind of the weakest for the episode. She ultimately settled for Scarlet because Kylie has more to give. Meanwhile Jan sits there in her umpteenth purple costume and managing to be the only person to sulk at a high energy 10 – what is brand may never die.
The Never Ending Story
This week’s main challenge was an acting challenge, and boy was it one Hell of an acting challenge as they created a 10 minute long loose parody of American Horror Story and every other Ryan Murphy ego vehicle in which just about every character feels like it would have been a joy to see Scarlet Envy take on. Sadly we’re continuing the tradition of not having a guest director come in to the show, meaning the task goes to Ross and Michelle who are mostly just incredibly unhelpful and spend a majority of the time giving obscenely vague acting advice or pulling the stankiest stank faces
it says something that often in Drag Race acting challenges, the worst part is always the directing.
A’keria got the worst of it with her being told that she was giving great energy, but needed more attitude and then that her attitude made her monotone and then later had a line that should have been delivered monotonally. Honestly she should be commended for not storming off the set and burning it all to the ground because I think that would have been a justifiable set of actions. I don’t think Ross or Michelle even knew what to do with A’keria’s character, and I don’t know if A’keria had much more of idea but God did I love the way she padded her velour tracksuit
It might have actually been one of the funniest things about the entire skit that felt like it went on for three times longer than it actually did. I’m just impressed that we didn’t have a supercut of queens forgetting lines because the part of Jessica, the Supreme Witch was VERY wordy, but also clearly the meatiest part so it made sense that resident ham and thespian, Ginger Minj really wanted the role. Unfortunately for the glamour toad, so did Kylie who was desperate to prove to the judges that she could manage to say more than 7 words in an above average decibel range. Naturally this disagreement came down to new Drag Race favourite decision maker: Rock, Paper, Scissors and sweet, poor predictable Ginger always chooses rock
where is the savagery of Season 13 where they made Denali and Rosé audition against one another for their roles in the Rusical? BRING US THAT ENERGY!
The result didn’t go entirely against Ginger though as she got a part with a lot more physical comedy and general screaming
which of course Michelle and Ross found rip-roaringly funny. It was interesting to see Ginger play a character you wouldn’t think she was particularly well suited for, but my God if she didn’t look stunning
she should maybe have just been the top All Star of the week for this beat alone.
Kylie struggled to get into her character, she was very much playing it all a little meek and coy, which you can’t really do when you’re meant to be a Jessica Lange character, but she had the look down
there is just something very correct about a beautiful woman swirling a glass of whiskey and looking like she’s at the wake of her 5th mysteriously dead husband.
In order to get the performance they wanted out of her, Michelle did have to give a performance of her own and after telling Kylie she was performing at a seven and they needed her at a Jan, Michelle very helpfully… gave it an 8 and Ross being “The Hilarious Ross Matthews” of course played the perfect boot-lick
I have directed inexperienced actors before, it can be a struggle but if the director has to get onto the set to do anything other than sort out blocking and camera angles, then the director is more at fault and I think this just really showed up why these skits are always funnier when someone who isn’t Michelle or Ross directs them. 9021-HO IS THE EXCEPTION TO THE RULE, that was never going to funny.
I still don’t know if Kylie really got to the level they wanted her to be performing at and I think they gassed her up in the critiques A LOT – it was by no means a bad performance, and it was certainly more controlled than Eureka who just occasionally fritzed and became Season 9 Eureka
was this a reference I was missing? It was such a weird choice of a line delivery and I’m shocked they didn’t spend as much time trying to sort it out as they did with telling A’keria that her line deliveries were all wrong. Also, Eureka was wearing the bedazzled surgical gloves again for some reason
I have so many questions about them that will never be answered.
I also don’t quite know why Eureka gravitated so instantaneously to this role, other than the fact it’s based on Kathy Bates, it was a pretty nothing part and she didn’t really bring anything unique or interesting to it. I’m a little shocked she wasn’t in the bottom.
Speaking of roles that were tailor-made for someone, who else but Jan could play the almost too-on-the-nose skewering of one Lea Michele?
I do admire Jan and her determination to interpret being called “The Rachel Berry of Drag” as a compliment. The part did at least also help her get all of that bottled up, misplaced funk that she’s been storing up in the last few episode as she was finally allowed to go Full Theatre Kid
I do feel like Jan’s character could have been funnier in a much more concise script, in this one it never really went anywhere – and a quick shout out to the Netflix subtitler who captioned “What in the name of Sondheim?” as “What in the name of sunshine?” – YOU UNCULTURED SWINE!
Other than the main part of Jessica being heavily contested, the only other part that had some rivalry for was the role of Frances, who was just Myrtle Snow and who dies and then gets to come back as the only good part: The Ghost of Joan Crawford. As much as I would have loved to see Trinity K Bonet’s Joan Crawford, there really was only one option to play the role
This whole Joan Crawford bit was legitimately funny and they paid Pandora DUST for it! And Ra’Jah too – her delivery of the line “I’m a huge fan… of Bette Davis! Is she coming too?” was the highlight of the whole damn skit – can we call 10 minutes “a skit”? At that point it might as well just be a Netflix Original Series.
As for Pandora’s Myrtle Snow, it was fine and got completely overshadowed by the stockphoto CGI fireball they covered her up with
It really just reminded me of the flamethrowers in the 90s Duke Nukem games, clearly the budget went on the set this episode – and thank God they didn’t just resort to the bad greenscreening.
With Pandora getting the Myrtle/Joan Crawford two-parter, this left Ra’Jah and Trinity to play the conjoined twins Angela and Sarah, with Ra’Jah’s character requiring her to have a lisp – I see we’re still doing this whole bit, huh? Michelle and Ross were not having Ra’Jah’s interpretation of the character – I personally thought her having the high-pitched nasal voice made sense and was kind of cute and made her stand out from everyone else and quite why Michelle felt she needed to take the time to explain what a lisp was to Ra’Jah, I do not know and it was very patronising.
I didn’t think Ra’Jah was actually that bad – she was constantly present during the whole thing, she had a reaction ready for every line which Eureka didn’t and simply stood at the back as soon as she wasn’t in anyway involved in a discussion
so personally, I think Eureka should have been in the bottom over Ra’Jah, especially when we take the runways into account because she SERVED this week.
Oh My Goth!
For the runway this week the queens were told to dress up in their best goth fashion, which I was very excited about and then kind of a little disappointed with. I just wish there had been more variations, but I understand why they kind of all went ooky-spooky given that trying to explain cybergoth, pastel goths or gothabillies to RuPaul and Michelle Visage would have been an insurmountable and Herculean task.
Ginger was first down and very much doing as Ginger does best
it’s very cute but slightly jarringly junior. I do love the wig and I think her head is phenomenal, the dress just isn’t much to write home about and some sort of white detailing might have just broken it up a bit and given some points of interest, but also risked making her look like she was in indentured servant in a Victorian tea room.
Eureka was next in one of her rare misfires
It doesn’t shape her quite as well as her costumes usually do and the wispy black over-coat thing just felt a little too limp and kind of cheapened the whole effect of what should have been quite a big, grandiose and almost operatically camp look.
Trinity K Bonet was next and very much just wearing an entire fabric shop’s worth of black tulle
this is divine – it’s the sort of thing I imagine one of the many, many, many evil queens in a Disney property would wear – I could very much see the panning shot now as they dramatically sweep though their castle in a fit of rage. Whether that’s particularly goth or not could be debated for eternity but as far as the show was concerned, if it’s black it’s goth.
Ra’Jah continued her trend of wearing pants on the runway and looking absolutely stunning in general
Does anyone else remember the terrible 2013 film “Beautiful Creatures” starring a variety of people who were far too good to star in that trash? Well the one redeeming quality of it was the fashion and Ra’Jah very much looks like she would have slotted perfectly into it. And this hair is EVERYTHING on her, she can do no wrong, we have to stan.
And now for The Runway Queen of the season whose time is about to tragically be cut short
This is a Grade A SERVE – the textures of it are divine, the layering is so flattering, the shoes MY GOD THE SHOES and of course the headpiece
she looks like the cover of a heavy metal album and it ticks every single box I had for this runway.
Jan gave A’Keria a run for her money though
I really like this, it’s unfortunate that Jan kind of already did this runway with her Black Wedding runway on season 12 – I do think this outfit is miles better and I loved her makeup and the whited out eyes
I don’t know if I love the skeletal puffed sleeves, they feel a little contrived and I think the outfit would have been much sleeker without them, but I get that this is Jan and so the theatricality of it should be expected.
And then Kylie was mostly naked
I mean… DAMN. It’s very 2000s techno-metal music video to me and Kylie’s ability to not flash a nip is second to none and I would love to know her secrets.
Her wig and makeup were also phenomenal, I loved the flash of red whenever she blinked
the wigline gets a little dodgy around the ears, but I’m willing to forgive it because the little gold wrapped horns are adorable.
And lastly we have Pandora Boxx who basically rented the Woman in Black costume from her local theatre rental store
I like it, it’s campy and suits her. Like Ginger, I think it could have done with something to break it up slightly, especially with the heavy shroud but I think it’s still my favourite Pandora look of the season.
An Oh My Goth Runway Ranking
- A’keria C Davenport, the new album by Motörhead
- Jan’s Corpse Bride Returneth
- Kylie’s Barenaked Lady
- Ra’Jah’s Gothic Pants
- Trinity’s Gothi-tulle
- Pandora’s Mournful Widow Rental
- Ginger Minj’s Voodoo Child
- Eureka’s Temporally Askew References
As for the results, it’s Kylie who snags the win and I am pleased for her, she deserves a win I just don’t know if this was her episode to win – I thought Ginger or even Pandora might snag it, even with their slightly lesser runway looks because as far as the bottoms went, the runways clearly meant nothing! I genuinely think either A’keria or Ra’Jah should have been spared the bottom and Eureka put down there instead, or just make it a bottom 3. But alas it is A’keria and Ra’Jah who find themselves in the bottom and you might have realise but I really like them both so this was going to be annoying however it went.
The very moment this was revealed to be a Christina Aguilera lipsync, you knew that Kylie was going to win it, it’s practically what she was born to do and she was very much dressed for the occasion
Someone get her a tit tape sponsorship, STAT!
As for her opponent, it was Manila Luzon dressed like she was part of a The Producers ensemble
I think we just need to maybe not wear caps that might make you look like a member of an unfortunate political persuasion.
The lipsync was very much an absolute bloodbath, just Kylie being sex on a stick
and really all Manila could do was walk around the stage and just hope that she didn’t trip, so she accomplished something at least.
Kylie obviously wins and the queen she chose to eliminate was A’keria
She’s been an amazing queen and I wish she had had a more successful All Stars journey – her runways have routinely been some of the best and I think she was often overlooked in challenges but when it comes down to a choice between her and Ra’Jah, this was kind of the right decision.
And so, 7 All Star Queens Remain
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