Drag Race, Season 14, Episode 6: Glittery Armpit

Dr. Morphosis will see you now.

Welcome to RuPaul’s Next Top Saw Trap where the only victim is Daya Betty!

Breaking Betty

Having been the only member of her team from last week’s challenge to be merely safe, Daya Betty was feeling a little pressed, as much as she insisted she was absolutely not sulking beneath that wood nymph makeup

granted, she’s not quite going The Full Jasmine (yet) but given that she’s absolutely been cast on the show as some sort of torture experiment, it’s only a matter of time before she does have a complete mental breakdown. I can’t say I blame her for being a little bitter about having her entire performance and runway overshadowed by Angeria pulling a funny face

but such is the power of the unstoppable freight train that is Angeria Paris VanMichaels.

Delivering Looks

For this week’s main challenge the queens were having to make a look out of miscellaneous materials from inside a “Glamazon” package

and if you thought this challenge would be a partnership with Amazon, you were wrong because Lady Camden gets to deliver an advert that is less well integrated than the L’Oreal Hair Salon on Project Runway

remember when Drag Race used to parody this sort of thing?

I thought that the queens would have to go up one by one and pick a box of mystery materials to work with. But no, apparently they’ve learned nothing from the amount of injuries they’ve had on the show and it was a free for all, with Jasmine Kennedie going at those boxes like a Hermes courier in December

and while she practically tore boxes out of other queens’ hands, Willow, who couldn’t open the boxes because of her weakened fingers, was left to search amongst the opened and discarded boxes looking like a Jawa at the beach

and no, the production team did not hand her a box cutter or a pair of scissors because if Cheryl Hole taught us anything, it’s that queens cannot be trusted with sharp objects. But she did manage to grab herself a sort of velveteen blanket which she managed to turn into a bad-touch Gruffalo costume

given the fact she was having a real struggle sewing this, I think it’s really good – I would love to see this look if she didn’t only have a few hours to make it in because I think it could be something really special – but, as she said, it was an accomplishment just to get to the point that she could walk down the runway and not be just a naked person with a growth disorder that Channel 5 would’ve been all over in 2008.

It was a shame that Willow didn’t quite manage to recreate the lofty high of her Lesbian Wedding Jumpsuit, but it did leave an open door for one of the other queens to prove themselves as a design challenge champion, and nobody was hungrier for it than Jasmine who, as previously mentioned, had grabbed every box in the hopes of getting some decent materials and ended up with tulle bed canopies, yarn and cookie cutters. She had lofty ambitions of at one point seemingly knitting an outfit, and upon hearing that Bosco looked ready to pack her bags for her

she, kind of, vetoed that and decided to instead go for the old reliable Sex And The City in Dubai reference because creating something that can be worn by the pool is *significantly* easier than creating something more glamorous and red carpet-y. Quite why she then wore the dryest wig and painted her face like Alyssa Edwards in the season 5 ballet performance I do not know

Are you going to fuck the poolboy or are you going to try to kill Coco Montrese through the power of ballet alone? You cannot do both.

But the outfit was pretty much a disaster, so the makeup wasn’t exactly going to break it any more

did she spend the entire time macrameing the beaded fringe and creating dreamcatchers out of cookie cutters and yarn? And she can’t even say her outfit was bad because she dedicated her time trying to get an invite to Sasha Colby’s house, because Kerri was doing fine by just gluing shit to a corset

I have to say, I much preferred this look in the earlier stages of its development

somewhere along the line the design got a little bit lost, and I’m not 100% sold on the styling, this wig belongs in the MovieBitches burn pile

but who could blame her because she had seemingly spent 72 hours in the confessional booth to narrate the entire episode, so she just deployed the good old tactic of covering herself in glitter

this is a Kerri Colby’s glittery armpit stan account.

Jasmine wasn’t the only one desperately trying to prove themselves with this challenge as making outfits out of scavenged materials is apparently Daya Betty’s entire game – and she was very quick to register a patent on the baby doll dress, muscling Willow firmly out of the concept. If I were Daya, I wouldn’t have gone with something that would inevitably look very similar to a look I had already done

but if you want to make your Drag Race brand dressing up as an adult-sized toddler, that’s your business, and Daya was certainly trying to establish her brand because 6 episodes in and she is still haunted by the spectral form of Crystal Methyd as she asks Ru and Carson for some advice on how she can stand out and the editors treat us to a very rude side-by-side montage of every time Daya has looked even vaguely like Crystal

this being only the second shadiest montage after the one they did of Aja’s edited Instagram looks before cutting to her, in full drag, in the abysmal Werk Room lighting of season 9 with a horror movie sound effect over it.

But Ru is almost certainly out to destroy Daya Betty, or at least drag her to the point where she caves in, does a regular beauty face and gets told “We miss that signature Methyd family kookiness” and gets sent home, only to be cast on All Stars 2 years later where she is competing against Crystal. And she’s certainly on the verge of doing it if her reaction to the very mention of Crystal is anything to go by

that’s the vacant stare of someone that is mentally dismembering Carson Kresley.

I do have to hand it to Daya though, because her look did feel like the most well put together and realised look on the runway

I know it’s a baby doll dress but I think she could have afforded to give herself a little more of a defined figure, but it’s a great look and she presented it really well on the runway and I do think she was made safe because they’re trying to force another Jan’s FaceCrack Meme

yeah, I can’t see that one being printed on a novelty bathrobe anytime soon.
And she deserves an Oscar nomination in costume design purely for the absolute insanity that those glasses caused in Untucked during Maddy and Jasmine’s fight

What makes Daya being merely safe with a great outfit, is the fact Jorgeous was not only in the top, but won with what was essentially a sneeze of fabric

maybe it’s my bias and I’m just not vibing with Jorgeous but… this isn’t good? And I just feel like Jorgeous’s run in the competition feels *very* overly produced and I get the impression they’re dragging her far enough through the competition to justify putting her in the Vegas show because she can dance an absolute storm. But the look was better than the sexy Grimace costume she was making

and certainly better than what I thought was going to happen when she just put a lampshade on her head

but I do think RuPaul is just a little bit glamoured by the fact she’s very pretty and very little.

Daya wasn’t the only one getting makeup prompts though as Ru brings up the fact Lady Camden suffers from that terrible deficiency disease: British Man Lips

I’ve seen a bigger pout on a Trafalgar Square pigeon. But Lady Camden takes the prompt and increased the size of her lips to a visible degree

and I think it really helps soften her – in fact she’s giving me Dolly Parton on the cover of Playboy, not so much with the outfit though which was basically Kerri Colbi’s entrance look, or Gottmik’s Trains look

we love a Trans Rights moment, slightly flummoxed as to why NOBODY mentioned it, but sure. Out of all the queens, she certainly had the most transformative look in terms of taking unconventional materials and making them look like fabric, what with how she used the inflatable pool.

As with every sewing challenge, there’s inevitably someone who chooses the hardest fabric to work with that they could possibly find, and Angeria was taking up that particular honour with her non-stretch fabric. But she worked her magic with it and looked like a the richest Dilophosaurus on Isla Nubar


it’s a great outfit though and fantastically chic, my one complaint is that I think she should have gone with smaller earrings so that they weren’t competing with the neck fans

but she is a pageant girl and thus will never hang anything smallery than a B&Q chandelier from her earlobes.

Bosco was also working with some pretty difficult materials, those IKEA-style plastic bags have dashed the hopes of many a drag queen and Project Runway contestant, which I think makes Bosco’s final look all the more triumphant

I loved this and can’t quite get over the fact she was just safe? Well, maybe not too surprised because I don’t really expect Ru or Michelle to quite understand the brilliance of Glam Rock Megaman.
And while we’re talking about Bosco I might as well acknowledge that she came out as trans this week and the trans community just keeps winning.

Having found herself in the bottom 2 the last time she had to make an outfit, Maddy had a lot to prove and was, right from the outset, making exactly the same mistake by deciding to present a character on the runway, which is NEVER a good idea in a design challenge, but she took one look at that sitcom-dad-faced blow-up doll and was smitten

and once again was hoping to present some sort of country yokel on the eve of her wedding, with the blow up doll wearing a better made outfit than she was wearing

which Alabamian housewife hurt you Maddie?

The look is absolutely indefensible, Willow thought she was dressed like a child’s nightmare but her telescopic-armed Gruffalo had nothing on Maddy’s man-eating playmat. I do think Carson and Ru did her dirty though by saying absolutely NOTHING to dissuade her from going down this route when she trundled over to talk with them carrying the entire circus tent with her

Mr. Kresley. You could have saved her. She gave you all the… pleather aprons?
But instead they smiled and nodded and said “Oh, like a hostess dress? Fun!” and sent her to her inevitable patchwork diner seat doom.

Lastly we have Deja, who does actually do costume design and has made a fair few of the looks we’ve seen her in thus far, including her incredible promo look

so the expectations for Deja were high and then she… draped a bit of fabric and spent more time trying to origami some gold foil doilies into a headpiece and kind of failed in that endeavour

it’s a perfectly serviceable look, but one I would expect from someone with absolutely no sewing experience and just praying to God they manage to survive the week by virtue of someone else being worse than her.

A Glamazon Prime Look Ranking

  1. Lady Camden Said Trans Rights
  2. The Real DinoWives of Isla Nubar
  3. Bosco’s MegaWoman
  4. Daya Betty’s Patented Baby Doll Dress. DO NOT STEAL.
  5. Kerri Glued Things To A Corset, Good For Her
  6. Willow’s Masters Degree In Monster Engineering
  7. Deja’s 6 Hours of Doily Origami
  8. Jorgeous in a Sneeze of Fabric
  9. Jasmine’s Poolside Breakdown
  10. Willow’s Baby Doll Dress That Doesn’t Exist
  11. Jorgeous’s Original Grimace Outfit
  12. Is It Possible To Commit a Hate Crime Against Alabama?

The judging of this episode was wild to me, I will forever be BAFFLED as to quite how Jorgeous won this episode with that outfit when I would really have stuck her straight in the bottom 3, or narrowly avoided it depending on how miffed you were about Deja churning out a dress that seemingly required 3 seams. I think the win was for Lady Camden or Angeria, the latter of the two who could seemingly have won every episode so far, including the first premier which she wasn’t even around for. I was surprised they didn’t put Willow in the bottom 3, more to get that emotional beat where she could talk to the judges about her cystinosis in a little more detail, but I’m quite glad the show isn’t quite that ghoulish. But the bottom 2 was very deservingly Jasmine Kennedie and Maddie Morphosis.

Suga and Spice

I haven’t felt the need to watch Untucked for years – season 7 truly broke it but this week it was essential viewing, and who could have seen that it would be Maddie Morphosis bringing the drama? Because, clearly knowing she was in the bottom 2, she came in full to the brim with blind confidence that she would slay this week’s lipsync after she won the last one she was in. I personally wouldn’t say she won that lipsync so much as June lost harder but, more to the point, I truly don’t know why she would say this to Jasmine after she saw Jasmine’s talent show performance? but Jasmine was seeing red

and this was my favourite kind of Drag Race fight – it never got particularly personal and was just two people unnecessarily yelling at one another while doing dramatic hand gestures fuelled only by the stress of a reality TV competition.

but no, Jasmine does not get to invoke BenDeLaCreme’s All Star Abacus in a regular season, that is for All Stars nonsense ONLY.

And of course, the best part of an Untucked argument is the interspersed shots of the other queens enjoying every second of it

As an aside, someone cast DeJa as The Cowardly Lion in The Wizard of Oz, please and thank you.

All of this made for a distinctly over dramatic lipsync to BeyoncĂ©’s Suga Mama, which Maddie did incorrectly identify as “not a dancey song” and Jasmine promptly proved that it can be, mostly by going Full Sex and dramatically throwing herself to the floor several times

and Maddie, going for a more character driven lipsync because she had no choice given that she was dressed like Ronald McDonald’s mother, kind of mostly just stumbled around the stage, but doing so with much more gusto and presence than her previous lipsync, which was nice to see.

It was all a very undeniable win for Jasmine though, I can’t say I’m her biggest fan and I’m sure she’s going to bomb Snatch Game and lose in a lipsync to Jorgeous in 2 weeks time, but she ruled that stage. And Maddie’s fate lay in that cursed chocolate bar twist…

I am sad to lose Maddie, I really wanted her to at least make it to Snatch Game because she’s been really good in comedy challenges and clearly has a strong wit to her, she just didn’t quite have the confidence required to go much further in the competition. I hope the touring and opportunities she gets post-Drag Race will give her that and she’ll come back for an All Stars run in 2 or 3 years time.

And so, 9 Queens remain…

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