Me when I see William Sitwell is on an episode of MasterChef.

This recap is 8mm.

Last Chance Saloon

The first challenge of this episode is essentially an anime beach episode that has little to no effect on the plot or characterisation of the contestants, save for ensuring we know that Tony REALLY loves making desserts guys

Tony has made 3 desserts so far and only 1 was of his own volition, the other two were under duress while someone with a degree in patisserie points a gun at him: The Vespertini in the previous episode and this challenge in which the gun-holder was Philip Khoury

who you may know as the protege of Adriano Zumbo, who in turn you may know as the creator of the TV show Zumbo’s Just Desserts which is like if Bake Off read Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and didn’t learn the main lesson: Don’t Trust Men Who Own Factories

the whole point of Philip’s little masterclass was to force everyone to make a high end piece of patisserie in the hopes that everyone learns something ahead of the final and nobody pulls A Sophie™

I still lie awake at night thinking about this dessert – I swear to GOD if any of you put me through the same heartbreak as watching Sophie wipeout like Gemma Collins trying to ice skate, I will hunt you down

the Cautionary Patisserie Test Drive was for all of them to create the same dessert, a vegan Dawn of a Tropical New Day (it really rolls of the tongue)

and the challenge is mostly Philip Khoury sort of haunting everyone’s stations like the wraith of the patisserie section as they had truly miserable times

I thought that once they successfully exorcised the room of him or Kristen finally showed Philip that mangos aren’t the only things that can be diced into 8mm cubes

the next challenge would be for them to all create their own high end dessert but no, none of them create a dessert because they were all (REASONABLY) traumatised by the aforementioned 8mm mango dicing

Antos thinking he could get away with fudging it <3

instead the main challenge and deciding who would get to move on to Finals Week, they just had to cook a dish they thought made them worthy of it for three of the recurring critics: William Sitwell who somehow still survives The Purge of Awful Men™, Jimi Famurewa and Xanthe Clay

and you can tell Xanthe is still a newbie Masterchef critic because she doesn’t want to see foams or espuma’d nonsense

so while foams are off the table for Xanthe (how are the scallops going to disguise themselves now?) we can safely say that Ginger Mirror Glazed Turnips are certified Not Nonsense™

this was Tony’s dish – he was dabbling in Thai flavours which he’s done previously in the competition with a not overwhelmingly successful play on Tom Yum Soup for WIlliam Sitwell’s Tour de Broths Challenge

and unfortunately for him, despite promising big flavours like lemongrass, black garlic, miso and ginger, it was a bit of a repeat of past issues with the plate just not packing enough of a punch flavourwise

there was also some issues with the Chicken and Prawn Ballotine – the texture of the stuffing was described as unpleasant and mushy, with some questions and fears over whether it was cooked or not

which is a pretty major issue to have at this point in the competition and his only safety buffer really was the fact that Matt had embraced the thrill of globalisation a little too hard as his fusion food was more unstable nuclear fusion

there were some really good components – he’d cooked and prepared the Lamb Sweetbreads perfectly which can be a tricky process and the Merguez Sausage that was doubled leafed up on a thursday afternoon were greatly received by the critics

where he lost them was the combination of the Kombu and Pepper Puree with his Sour Onions, both of which were nice but not overly pleasant to eat together. But the culinary world war happening on Matt’s plate is nothing compared to the conflict that Grace Dent’s pronunciation of Tajin is going to cause

we’re barely surviving the ongoing Tortillagate, we can’t open this can of worms.
It was Jhané who was going with a Mexican dish, doing a play on a Seafood Tostada she had during a holiday over there. The centrepiece of the dish was a barbecued prawn, and they’re finally at a point of this competition where they feel confident trusting the contestants with open flames so the patio barbecue can be fired up

at one point I did think she was going Full Barbecue Dad with bottle of cider in her hand at all times, but then I realised that it’s the chilli oil she’d basted the prawns in

and alongside the grilled prawns were an 8mm Mango Tajin Salsa, Mango and Habanero Sauce and a lace tuile instead of a tortilla

the vibrancy of it is incredible and it sounds like it tasted delicious – I do think something more substantial than the tuiles would be more appropriate, especially given how generous she was with the prawns! But show off the skills you can, when you can!

Kristen’s source of inspiration was the dinner they’d cooked in York, wherein she’d learned a little bit more about how to cook Venison (she’s sworn off beef for life) and was going for what I thought was the riskiest dish of the episode, choosing to pair the gaminess of venison with Thai flavours. It’s just not something I thought would work but everyone seemed to be pretty thrilled about it

it’s not a dish that I really expected from Kristen and neither did the show who had just made a big thing about dubbing her The Queen of Pickles only for her pickled salad to get barely a mention amongst everything else on the plate

while Kristen sought to prove she’d learned things from her experience, Antos was looking to redeem himself for ever having called a single bean in batter “a pakora”

and this time was serving a Bona Fide Pakora alongside his Lamb and Tadka Peas

I love personal growth! And it sounded like an amazing plate of food – the spiced butter he’d glazed the lamb in as well as the curried tadka peas? I’m not even that keen on lamb in general and I think I’d demolish this, pakora and all.

A Dish Ranking:
1. Jhané’s Barbecue License
2. Antos’s Pakora Redemption
3. Kristen’s Forsaken Pickled Subjects
4. Around The World In Too Many Ways
5. Tony Getting Tongue Thai’d

The elimination came down to being either Tony or Matt and you kind of knew it was going to be Tony going home because you can’t *really* recover from Anna and Grace watching you cut into a kind of only just cooked chicken like this

and so Tony leaves in a solid and entirely respectable 5th place, which I think ultimately is very fair. He’s a really strong technical cook and managed to keep up with things even when put outside of his comfort zone, I think where he struggles still is conceptualising a full plate of food, he kind of tends to do the same safe thing in various different outfits and I hope he manages to find somewhere that really helps nurture his culinary instinct and talents because he’s really, REALLY good!

And so, our members for Finals Week are Matt, Kristen, Jhané and Antos who all get to go to do Caribbean Work Experience!

there’s a Blog Fave Grave Plot ready and waiting, diva.