They’ll hatch in 8 to 10 days.

Hey, Boo Boo, let’s go get us a pic-a-nic basket!

Pic-Oh… Nick…

For this week’s quarterfinal the contestants had quite the task on their hands as they had to create a three piece picnic featuring 2 savoury items and a sweet item. A brief set by Grace Dent who had apparently arrived at the studio by taking a shortcut through a Formula 1 team’s wind tunnel

and she shall never be forgiven for reducing my sweet baby angel Nick to an absolute wreck as he struggled with timing, having to plate everything up in like 30 seconds through tears as he clutched his emotional support manbun

and thus his Ham and Cheese Mille Feuilles, Quail Scotch Eggs and Rhubarb Jam Tarts all looked a bit like they’d arrived at the judging table dragged through the same hedge as Grace Dent and faired about as well

it may look like someone with not enough friends to bung a hairbrush off of, but it apparently did all taste really good and there was a valiant attempt to make The Nice Big Man™ feel better about himself

I mean that’s verifiably not true but I appreciate the sentiment

if only someone had a pocketful of scotch eggs to dish out…

where’s the Big Man™ solidarity, Trevor? You could’ve donated a third of your picnic to Nick and still passed the brief of making three portions of everything

I love him, he can do no wrong -so long as he continues to serve food that could qualify as an Olympic grade discus weighing a minimum of 2 kilograms, I think he should win. I wanna see how far Gabriele Reinsch can launch those Bakewell Puddings.

While Trevor is genetically wired to only be able to make baked goods that could eclipse the sun, Gabriel was finally finding himself having to make something larger than a mouthful. He was looking to his Cypriot heritage with his picnic of Spanakopita, Taramasalata and a cinnamon and almond filled pastry known as Thaktila which translates to “Fingers” and they do look suitably like disembodied doll arms

it sounded like a really great menu, unfortunately his pastry was a little undercooked and greasy so his grandmother is still Queen of the 1500 Wedding Fingers

it took 5 of us to put together 60 paper lanterns for my brother’s wedding…

While many of the contestants embraced this challenge with the goal of elevating British picnic food or raising the conundrum of how to transport an egg yolk to Hampstead Heath – we will get to you, Fay. I wasn’t surprised to see someone going for something a little whimsical as Hazel turned Ham and Cheese Sandwiches into Palmiers, replaced tea with tomato consummé and put a little yuzu into a Battenburg like this is Bake Off in 2021 and that’s ~being quirky~

I like the presentation and think she did a good job by the palmiers and Battenburg, but the consummé with the cream mixer is a truly horrible looking concoction that I refuse to believe is pleasant to drink

it’s like when your non-dairy latte splits and you have to sheepishly ask the barista to make it again because it’s like drinking an espresso through a layer of scrambled eggs.

I don’t think Nick was the only one to run out of time though because while everyone served up at least 3 of each element they made, Sam only appeared to have 2 Custard-filled Bao Buns, a singular mackerel summer roll but three of his Thai-spiced Sausage Rolls

I just think he probably got a very generous edit because it does look unfinished and it’s interesting when it comes to the final decision of who goes home. Not that I’m looking a gift-horse in the mouth, Sam’s food routinely sounds and looks delicious and this was no exception.

Lastly we have Fay who was making a picnic that requires you to carry it with the same delicate balance of a bomb disposal expert trying to avoid being turned into pink mist

I adore her, she’s like the Lawful Good version of Seth from Top Chef: Just Desserts who was chaotic evil to the core, and upon being told to make a cake suitable for a bake sale in a high school gymnasium, he made a Mocha Financier Cake with an Orange Creamsicle Sauce and scowled at every child that came within 10 feet of him. Incredible television, I am almost tempted to spend the £10 that YouTube is demanding I pay to stream it all.

A Picnic Menu Ranking:
1. Trevor Feeding the Many
2. Hazel’s 2021 Flavour of Quirkiness
3. Fay’s Egg Yolk Conundrum
4. Gabriel’s Greasy Fingers
5. Sam’s Picnic For An Unspecified Amount of People
6. A Pic-a-Nick Basket!

Three contestants had to go, the first decision was sadly obvious because Nick had had an absolute nightmare and flops straight into his destined plot of the Blog Fav Graveyard much more prematurely than I would like

and for the few technical errors in his pastry, it was also time to say goodbye to Gabriel and His Slightly Depressing Gym Food

and here’s where things get a little bit interesting because Fay made something that was Decidedly Not A Picnic and Sam had, to me at least, not finished. I think Hazel had overperformed and coped with the pressure of the workload much better than anticipated so she and Trevor were safe. Ultimately, Sam *probably* should have been eliminated but they decided that both Sam and Fay would get to stay which I’m not too mad at, they both have such a clear point of view and definitely offer the competition something special.