Bake Off: The Professionals, Series 4, Episode 5: Wicked Banana Slug Mould

We call this look “The Kiss of Death”.

If you like cones, carrots and vague allusions to time travel then boy do I have the perfect episode of television for you!

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Blog Update: Posting Schedule

Just a short bit of housekeeping ahead of a particularly congested TV schedule! As you might have known both All That Glitters and Sewing Bee start this week and I am planning on recapping both of them. The slight hitch is that the MasterChef Finale airs tomorrow at 8pm, the same night as Sewing Bee. I pride myself on offering next day recaps but I’m not sure I’ll manage a full MasterChef Finale and Sewing Bee recap on Thursday so for this week I will be prioritising the MasterChef Finale with Sewing Bee going up on Friday. I feel like that’s the fairest option.

You would think that would be the only thing but alas, The BBC have apparently decided that it’s The TV Power Hour and have announced that Glow Up, the makeup brand of their competition formula, airs on iPlayer on Tuesdays and I wanted to recap that too – the recaps of Glow Up will probably only go up on Fridays because I think I’ll be prioritising All That Glitters and Sewing Bee.

So, to reiterate, once we’re over the MasterChef hump:

Wednesdays: All That Glitters Recaps.
Thursday: Sewing Bee Recaps.
Friday: Glow Up Recaps.

This is permitting that The BBC or Channel 4 don’t surprise us with a series of Britain’s Next Top Cobbler.

Drag Race UK 2 RECAP: Episode 1: Part-time Giraffe

This was my only facial expression during PE too.

It’s back after a delayed shooting schedule because of the minefield that was 2020 but it finally arrived with a pretty fantastic cast of Queens and it’s just refreshing to have a normal series opening after the three weeks of limbo that the US version has found itself in.

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MasterChef The Professionals Recap: Navigating The Gristle

That awkward moment where you accidentally look like the invasion of very niche alien species from Doctor Who.

Semi-finals week! And because we have two extra chefs because the decided to play 2 Wicked Wango Cards in the Quarterfinals they had to cram 15 dishes into an hour long show. SO STRAP IN.

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Strictly 2020 – Movie Week, Main Show: Xanaxed Batman

Just every man, woman and sex starved, locked down horndog seeing Gorka walking out of the ocean.

It’s Movie Week and as usual they’re bringing all of the glitz, glam and special effects of student films with bigger ideas than their shoe string budgets will allow. Your film needs a dog? Too bad, here’s a Lamb Chop hand puppet – good luck getting that grade hun.

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Bake Off 2020 – 80s Week: Anachronistic Christmas

It’s hard to implement Jo Frost’s Naughty Step technique in a tent.

It’s 80s week – a celebration of the decade that gave us The Mississippi Squirrel Revival, Mommie Dearest, Margaret f’king Thatcher, the satanic panic and of course Casablanca: The TV Series.

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Strictly 2020 – Week 2, Main Show: Mammoth Roomba

Is it possible to cancel the entire animal kingdom?

For the first time in 5 years Halloween falls exactly on Saturday and for the first time in 10 years they have decided not to do Halloween Week, it’s probably for the best we put it on ice for a bit given that even 6 years in we had reached the point where they were panicking for costumes and dressing people up as…

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