Brace for impact.

So unless you’ve been living under a rock or are one of the Japanese readers that periodically ends up on this blog (I am SO SORRY) you’re well aware of the controversies and bellyaches that the gimp suit made of pie crusts and Lisa Faulkner’s Husband™ have caused MasterChef because apparently it’s extremely hard to critique an apple crumble without saying something racist and/or sexist. Which has, rightfully, resulted in the pair of them finally being fired from the show to go and set up the £11.99p/m Gregg Wallace Roleplaying Waifu Chatroom Website and App Experience™ where I am sure nothing weird or incriminating is happening

Sir, that is double the price I pay to have the privilege of cutting yew trees on Runescape AND I get this really cool cat with a cape

Her name is Pearl.

Unfortunately, the latest series of MasterChef was filmed prior to the victims of Gregg and John coming forward meaning there is a whole series of them in judging positions scheduled to finally air this week. This has come with a lot of debate as to whether it should even air at all, with one contestant asking to be fully edited out of the show – a perfectly reasonable request. The BBC’s reasoning for airing the show is that the work and effort of the contestants deserves to be seen. However, with John and Gregg in positions of authority, the women who have made complaints about the pair of them have issued statements that it feels like a slap in the face.

I realise, I am an extremely small cog in a machine that sort of stands next to the MasterChef Machine – the electric milk velvetizer you use primarily because you got duped into paying £60 for by the very attractive John Lewis shop assistant to the £549.99 MasterChef Espresso Machine, if you will. However, I don’t want to just flippantly carry on with recapping or not recapping the series without addressing what has become a significant part of the blog.

My hope is that if they’ve taken the time to go back through the process of editing a contestant out of the show, they will also take the time to reedit the entire series to lessen the visibility and focus on Gregg and John in the show as much as possible:

– Keeping their critiques to a minimum.
– A complete disposal of any and every Gregg Wallace Gurning Reaction Shot That’s Clearly Filmed After The Fact.
– Getting India Fisher to narrate challenge briefs.

It’s by no means a perfect solution and I will not argue with anyone that does firmly hold the opinion that the entire series should be scrapped because I think that’s also a very reasonable reaction.
It’s a very dialectic situation, which is part of the problem and I think any opinion of the show and handling of the show, EXCEPT THE ONE WHERE JOHN AND GREGG DON’T DESERVE TO BE FIRED, is fair. It’s a perfect encapsulation of the ripple effect of abuse. There’s the immediate victims of John and Gregg and the people who put months of work into creating and competing on the show are, to me, also their victims. Their victimhoods are by no means the same and should not be equated but I can’t say that the contestants don’t suffer in some way if the series doesn’t air because of their actions.

My personal reaction is to recap the show with a few stipulations:
1. Gregg and John are only referred to as “The Judges” – they are at the end of the day, the only real metric I have to go off of how the food tastes in many of the rounds.
2. No screenshots of Gregg and John.
3. The wishes of any contestant that doesn’t want to be part of the show, or recaps for that matter, anymore will be entirely respected with no question or speculation.
4. 50% of any Ko-fi donations left with “MasterChef” in the donation message will be donated to VictimSupport.org and I will leave a note about this at the end of every recap. This donation will be made 1 week after the Finale ends.

I will admit that this is again, by no means, a perfect solution and I will not begrudge anyone that thinks I shouldn’t talk about or acknowledge this particular series at all. Some people may think I didn’t have to say or do any of this at all, however, I felt like I did.

Ariadne Griffin.