Ariadne Reviews

Your Premium Reality TV Recapping Nightmare

Glow Up, Series 5, Episode 8: Vampiric Beluga Whale

Nobody tell Roo.

Please respect the sufficiently grotesque elfish aspect.

Glow Up, Series 5, Episode 7: The Ruckus of the Umbilici

Ah yes, my favourite ancient Greek seer, THEYodamas.

Get your navels out, it’s hot recap summer.

Glow Up, Series 5, Episode 6: My Boy Plutarch

The pink one is so terrify.

This is a certified Rhys’s Pieces stan account.

Glow Up, Series 5, Episode 5: 40,000 Online SillyBucks

This is the weirdest police lineup I’ve ever seen.

Let’s get meta.

Glow Up, Series 5, Episode 4: Shakespearean Eyebrow Tragedy

She’s so Marie-AntoinetteCore.

Please keep your fingers out of the holes.

Glow Up, Series 5, Episode 3: Blood Taxonomy

This is Hot’n’Juicy now. Feel old yet?

This recap died in the basement.

Glow Up, Series 5, Episode 2: John Waters Gambit

The Last Supper (Leonardo da Vinci, c. 1495–1498. Tempera on gesso, pitch and mastic.)

Anywhere can be Malibu if you try hard enough.

Glow Up, Series 5, Episode 1: Earthworm Circus

The number you have dialed is unavailable.

This recap will change colour when wet.

Glow Up, Series 4, The Final: Bootleg Steve Harrington

Big fan of the reboot of The Craft.

It’s the finale and Val Garland has finally grown to resent ever praising the cheekbone prosthetic.

Glow Up, Series 4, Episode 9: Umbilical Lasso

OK, calm down Theresa May.

A Rebellion themed challenge? How timely.