Despite the weirdness that Covid inflicted on the show, the cast and crew still managed to give us a series of Taskmaster that easily ranks amongst the best of them. From Katherine Parkinson’s gradual decline in cognitive efficiency, the constant fear that Daisy May Cooper was about to go into labour, Mawaan Rizwan’s ever changing manicures, Johnny Vegas’s clumsiness and Richard Herring becoming more and more competitive as the show went on; everyone brought something to the table to create a perfect storm. And they all had their unique takes on the challenges…
I would like to point out that this list is merely a ranking of “Least Best to Best” because truly every task brought the laughs, some just more than others.
41. Lights, Camera, Action?
The Task: Learn the lines for several different parts in a scene from The Smart Steak.
The Highlights: BAFTA winning actress Katherine Parkinson forgetting all of her lines. The abysmal attempts at Welsh and Geordie accents. Katherine’s adorable fake sneezes. Richard Herring in the bush overshadowing every performance.
The Winner: RICHARD HERRING.
40. Bags of Tricks
The Task: Put something amazing in your bag and convince “Richard the security guard” to look in your bag without telling him what is in your bag.
The Highlights: Daisy’s exasperation at the Richards bonding over porn. Daisy asking the security guard what his favourite type of humus was. Katherine’s feminist manifesto. Johnny lighting a cigarette in a mean and menacing way. Johnny’s cage of children.
The Winner: JOHNNY VEGAS and DAISY MAY COOPER.
39. Loading Bay Disarray
The Task: There is a separate task behind each of the 5 doors – complete as many of them as possible. Only one door can be opened at a time and you may only move when a door is moving.
The Highlights: Richard’s terrible kicking. Mawaan throwing the Chocolate Orange against the door, looking at it’s shattered remains and saying “It’s not even yellow!”. Alex breaking character when Mawaan tried to talk with a banana in his mouth. Daisy’s banana eating method.
The Winner: DAISY MAY COOPER
38. Remote Controlled Avoid the Mini Robots Office Chair Chicken Swap
The Task: Get to the Finish Line while holding Chicken Number 2. Get Chicken Number 1 to the Start Line aboard a radio controlled car. You must remain seated on the office chair and must not touch the miniature robots patrolling the coarse.
The Highlights: Mawaan being ridiculously good at it. Richard’s scooting technique. The very slow robots bearing down on Johnny’s crashed RC caddy. Katherine driving the RC Caddy into Alex’s shin. Katherine fishing the task out of the bin.
The Winner: MAWAAN RIZWAN.
37. Double Barrelled
The Task: Get the water from barrel A into barrel B. Barrel A is leaking.
The Highlights: Richard wringing out of his clothes. Daisy transporting water using a baking tray. Katherine telling the crew to be careful of the wet ground. Mawaan drenching Alex.
The Winner: MAWAAN RIZWAN
36. You Don’t Know Me.
The Task: Use £20 to do something out of character.
The Highlights: Katherine thinking poppers were called “poopers”. Johnny’s agony and discomfort while getting waxed. Katherine taking her photos in portrait rather than landscape. Richard failing to keep a straight face during his meeting with a psychic. Portable Restroom Magazine. Mawaan’s nails.
The Winner: DAISY MAY COOPER & MAWAAN RIZWAN
35. Hunting for Taskmaster Treasure
The Task: Follow a series of clues to find the Taskmaster treasure. Johnny had a separate task of making different noises every minute.
The Highlights: Johnny Vegas repeating “I am not a crook!”. Daisy being terrified of Richard Herring. Daisy reading the wrong book for A WHILE. Katherine and Mawaan not reading a single clue and still finishing the task in the quickest time. Katherine pulling every sink she could find. Richard Herring the beleaguered husband of a Bargain Hunt addict.
The Winners: KATHERINE PARKINSON AND MAWAAN RIZWAN.
34. Stare Off / Face Off
The Task: Stare at your opponent while pulling the facial expression the Taskmaster requests. The first to blink or look away loses.
Highlights: Daisy being a chicken auctioneer who needs to sneeze and looking a bit like she was heiling Hitler. Johnny being a sleepy frog.
Winner: RICHARD HERRING, MAWAAN RIZWAN & JOHNNY VEGAS
33. Balls To You
The Task: Tell us how many balls are in the box in 4 minutes. After 4 minutes all the balls must be in the box.
The Highlights: It being the first task they filmed and Alex deciding to greet everyone with an airhorn. Daisy using baking trays. Heapage contingency. Katherine tossing out most of the balls with only 1 minute left. Mawaan changing his guess from 142 to 150 because there were “loads more” in the box. Johnny guessing 1100, getting disqualified and there being 1192 balls in the box.
The Winner: DAISY MAY COOPER
32. You’ve Taken The Words Out of My Mouth
The Task: Say as many words of a specified number of letters without pausing for longer than 2 seconds.
The Highlights: Katherine gurning her way through the task. “Leap-pigs”. Daisy swearing. Katherine losing by saying “farted”.
The Winner: DAISY MAY COOPER
31. Anatidaephobia
The Task: Draw a picture of the animal that is watching you without looking away from the mirror.
The Highlights: Richard failing to read the sign in the mirror. Johnny’s existentialism. The beginning of Katherine’s descent into madness. Duck lips. A tiger in a trilby.
The Winner: JOHNNY VEGAS
30. Kalamitous Karaoke
The Task: Put on a karaoke performance.
The Highlights: Katherine singing like both a Sunday school teacher and Kate Bush. Richard and Daisy’s line dancing and trust fall choreography. Mawaan’s improvisations. Johnny holding a fiddle for no reason. Katherine, Johnny and Mawaan calling their ban “Dog Meat Trifle”.
The Winner: RICHARD HERRING AND DAISY MAY COOPER.
29. Safe as Sesuoh
The Task: One member of the team records a message detailing what is in the safe. The other team member(s) will then hear the message played in reverse and must work out what is in the safe.
The Highlights: “Greg means flock in Latin.” Mawaan trying to say “sequins” in reverse. “Milkies?”. Richard’s backwards-speak technique. “Why didn’t you put me with Katherine Parkinson?”.
The Winner: MAWAAN RIZWAN, JOHNNY VEGAS & KATHERINE PARKINSON.
28. Shelob-outins
The Task: Put the wellies on the spider’s feet. You must be carrying a wellie at all times but you cannot carry more than three.
The Highlights: Katherine’s Magritte-esque approach to the task and getting a bonus point for putting the wellies on the legs of the table. Daisy screaming “THIS IS GREAT!” for the entire task. Katherine shoving her fist in the boot. Mawaan’s spider cabaret. Johnny beating the spider with a wellie. Katherine asking if she is the spider.
The Winner: DAISY MAY COOPER.
27. Alex’s Audio Bizarre
The Task: Guess the things that Alex Horne is bashing together.
The Highlights: Johnny Vegas holding up the same two paddles until he was right. Daisy and Richard being inexplicably good at this task. Alex being VERY disappointed with the noise the mallet and grill made.
The Winner: DAISY MAY COOPER & RICHARD HERRING
26. Vanishing Acts
The Task: Make the largest object disappear.
The Highlights: Katherine Parkinson pondering if she was bigger than the MASSIVE sofa. Richard Herring’s sinister grin. The obvious dragging noises as the film crew heaved the furniture around off screen during Katherine’s disappearing act. Daisy May Cooper shoving a cow into a hedge. Mawaan’s genuinely very good attempt at the task.
The Winner: MAWAAN RIZWAN
25. A Bucket o’ Balls
The Task: Get the most balls of the same colour in your bucket using only your litter picker.
The Highlights: Daisy tipping balls EVERYWHERE. Everyone politely swapping balls. Katherine apologising every time she swore. Katherine ending up with negative points.
The Winner: RICHARD HERRING.
24. Dial M For Mystery
The Task: Follow a series of clues to make the phone ring.
The Highlights: The YouTube clip of Katherine Parkinson farting in terror. Everyone being terrified of the chickens. Daisy’s increasing frustration with numbers. Katherine looking like she was in an episode of Line of Duty at all times. Daisy giving up on the last clue and just making her way through all the numbers. Johnny tucking the clue in his pants. Alex offering Johnny a hug. Johnny having no signal in the locker room.
The Winner: RICHARD HERRING
23. Balloon Art Attack
The Task: Create a portrait of The Taskmaster and his favourite toy using only balloons.
The Highlights: Katherine forgetting balloons could be inflated. “Mud is like nature’s charcoal”. The Glamorous Clothed Cuddly Comfort Duck. The drifting irises. Greg Davies’ massive balloon dick.
The Winner: JOHNNY VEGAS
22. Spin Art Class
The Task: Draw the assigned object on the canvas as spins on the turn table.
The Highlights: Richard being surprisingly good at speed drawing a combine harvester. Daisy madly scribbling. Katherine screaming “BOX!” repeatedly for most of Johnny’s turn.
The Winner: DAISY MAY COOPER & RICHARD HERRING.
21. Howling Mad Hatter’s Tea Party
The Task: Paint a picture of a howling wolf on a revolving teapot while listing American States.
The Highlights: Everyone pronouncing “Arkansas” wrong. Katherine not even attempting to name the states or pick up on Alex’s puns. Richard painting Wolf from Gladiators.
The Winner: DAISY MAY COOPER & RICHARD HERRING
20. Fruit Roll-Downs
The Task: Roll a piece of fruit down the chute but don’t cross the finishing line first. Crossing the line first or failing to cross the line means you are eliminated.
The Highlights: The eliminated contestants having to cradle their fruit. The Apple crash. Katherine forgetting that Greg is the Taskmaster. Katherine being VERY competitive.
The Winner: JOHNNY VEGAS
19. Warehouse Floor Rafting
The Task: Place the balls within the hoops without leaving the boat or moving the hoops.
The Highlights: Mawaan moving the hoops and thinking he was a genius for it. Katherine falling out of the boat. Richard Herring calling his exposed arse “His old fella”. Katherine travelling twice the distance of everyone else. The production team being very worried about Daisy doing this task while pregnant and Daisy not being at all concerned.
The Winner: DAISY MAY COOPER
18. The Thirst is Real
The Task: Drink a tablespoon of coconut water. If you use the same coconut water extraction method as another contest you will be disqualified.
The Highlights: Daisy, Mawaan, Richard and Johnny all thinking everyone else would be afraid to use the obvious method and in turn all using the same methods. Katherine struggling to open the fridge.
The Winner: KATHERINE PARKINSON
17. Taskmaster’s Monster
The Task: Draw the monster that The Taskmaster is describing. He will not repeat himself.
The Highlights: Katherine telling Mawaan to fuck off when he asked what a tusk was. Daisy writing everything down. “I couldn’t draw her urinating because you didn’t give me yellow!” Mawaan’s Canadian Monster. Richard drawing a vagina and Alex being very embarrassed about it.
The Winner: RICHARD HERRING
16. Run! Marble Run!
The Task: Create the longest marble run.
The Highlights: Mawaan never having rolled a marble before. Katherine not knowing what a marble run is. Daisy holding a bunch of miscellaneous pipes and shouting through the window. Alex licking the marble. “Well done me!”. Marble Curling. The concerning noises the washing machine made.
The Winner: KATHERINE PARKINSON
15. Audio Anguish
The Task: Making only noises tell The Taskmaster what object is on your card. You may not say anything that sounds like a word.
The Highlights: Mawaan wondering if Daisy was giving birth during her elephant impression. Katherine getting increasingly frustrated that she can’t make dolphin noises. Daisy’s ability to sound exactly like a fax machine and a sausage.
The Winner: DAISY MAY COOPER
14. Three Piece Pictionary
The Task: Draw your assigned animal for you team mates to guess. You may only draw three straight lines at a time.
The Highlights: Daisy’s FURY at Richard not guessing Hippopotamus. Johnny not understanding straight lines. Katherine’s “chicken”. Daisy feeling bad for not guessing Richard’s very good drawing of a kangaroo.
The Winner: KATHERINE PARKINSON, JOHNNY VEGAS & MAWAAN RIZWAN.
13. Bagging Check
The Task: Bag the heaviest item from the furthest distance.
The Highlights: Richard filling a trombone case with stones. Mawaan’s Rice Rocket. Richard severely overestimating his throwing capabilities. Alex’s measuring bowl and comedically large scissors. Daisy severely overestimating her strength. Katherine thinking she would weigh more than the massive cow statue. Johnny Vegas bagging a total stranger on their commute to work. The petite Katherine Parkinson claiming she was 22 stone. Johnny officially sulking.
The Winner: KATHERINE PARKINSON.
12. My Cup Runneth Over
The Task: Fill the cup atop the pole in the centre of the red green. Only liquids may touch the red green.
The Highlights: The hose not being long enough. Mawaan trying to chuck water into the cup. Johnny falling over for no reason. Katherine trying to fill a net with water. Everything Johnny did happened in the space of 3 minutes. Mawaan taking 12 minutes. Every single person being disqualified.
The Winner: NOBODY.
11. Bar Mat Architects
The Task: Build the biggest house out of bar mats. The doorbell must be pressed at regular, ever decreasing intervals.
The Highlights: Mawaan wondering what the point of the doorbell was. Katherine’s houses made of bricks and straw. Daisy slumped in the hallway asking for a cup of tea. Katherine getting increasingly upset. Mawaan removing the doorbell. Richard bleeding all over the doorbell. Katherine throwing the model house she had glued bar mats to across the room. Mawaan’s lighthouse and Katherine thinking it was a windmill. “I once repaired a bicycle puncture with my spittle.” Johnny Vegas’ heartbreak as his pyramid collapsed. “IT’S JUST A HOMESTEAD!”
The Winner: MAWAAN RIZWAN
10. A Bridge Too Farfalle
The Task: Balance either all of the mints or all of the biscuits on a spaghetti bridge between the two coconuts. You must be wearing the mittens at all times.
The Highlights: Johnny peeling the grapefruit. Daisy’s bridge breaking and her ripping the grapefruit to pieces in rage. The polo mint stuck to Daisy’s grapefruit juice drenched cleavage.
The Winner: RICHARD HERRING
9. What’s Blown Up Must Come Down
The Task: Drop the water filled balloon from the greatest height without it bursting.
The Highlights: Katherine Parkinson’s stretched friend. Mawaan’s gamble. Greg not realising that Richard’s bricks were made of foam rubber. Katherine’s reverse childbirth cloaking device. Johnny forcing Alex to wear high heels because he didn’t understand the winch. Daisy’s Deep South Circus Skills.
The Winner: DAISY MAY COOPER, KATHERINE PARKINSON & JOHNNY VEGAS.
8. Grapefruits of Wrath
The Task: Insert as much spaghetti into a grapefruit in 10 minutes. The last 8 minutes of which will be in complete darkness (unbeknownst to the contestants)
The Highlights: Katherine checking if Alex was still there when the lights went out. The eroticism of Johnny Vegas stabbing clumps of spaghetti into a leaking grapefruit. “I know! I’ll take my hat off!”. “Don’t you hate it when you run out of grapefruit space?”. Mawaan being a Sneaky Pasta Snake. Daisy deciding to boil her pasta and make a Grapefruit Spaghetti Burger.
The Winner: DAISY MAY COOPER.
7. The Barman Sprint
The Task: Transport 10 pints of Miscellaneous Red Liquid to the caravan without spilling a drop. Also you have to hold the teddy bear you won the coconut shy for the entire time and cannot walk on the grass.
The Highlights: Katherine’s tippy toe running. Mawaan trying to lift the phonebox. Daisy managing to spill 2 entire pints within seconds of the task starting. “THE BALLS!?”
The Winner: NOBODY – mass disqualification.
6. The Upside Down Cinema Club
The Task: Make the best upside down film
The Highlights: Alex gurning his way through Katherine’s sombre film. Text ‘Whoah’ to 96969696. The depressing Trampoline park. Mawaan tongue kissing the horse. Katherine thinking Mawaan was genuinely hanging upside down. Every second of the underappreciated masterpiece that was Daisy May Cooper’s “Chicken Town”.
The Winner: JOHNNY VEGAS
5. Industrial Egg Launch
The Task: Land the most egg in the frying pan standing on the raised podium.
The Highlights: Katherine trying to find the frying pan for 3 minutes. Mawaan trying to inflate an egg. Richard breaking all of his eggs without touching them. “I don’t like this ‘we’.” Johnny’s tantrum as his balloon cluster floated away. Daisy’s victory dance and subsequent downfall.
The Winner: DAISY MAY COOPER (purely by virtue of a bonus point)
4. Very Tidy Hangman
The Task: Hang the mannequin’s clothes on the rail without stepping over the lines of the square.
The Highlights: Richard and Daisy using the mannequin as a lasso. Katherine only noticing the clothes hangers AFTER she had done the task. Daisy shattering the skull of the mannequin. Johnny calling the mannequin “my beautiful boy” as he hung him over the rail. Daisy fishing for the hat.
The Winner: KATHERINE PARKINSON
3. A Dry Quietini
The Task: Make the prettiest and tastiest cocktail without making a noise louder than 60 decibels.
The Highlights: Katherine asking Alex if he was Alex. Daisy’s rage. Johnny putting a jar of olives down his pants. Katherine persisting with trying to put ice in the glass despite failing NUMEROUS times. The Fuck Saké. Katherine’s nice glass of milk. The It Doesn’t MatterHorne. Discovering that sparklers are actually very quiet. The keys in the fleece. Mawaan’s Bin Juice.
The Winner: MAWAAN RIZWAN.
2. Melon Munchers
The Task: Feed your team mate the most melon. You may not leave the room or your platform.
The Highlights: Daisy eating the watermelon like a starved T-rex. Richard barely eating a thing and instead force feeding Daisy. Katherine ripping her protective suit to shreds. “I want daddy’s watermelon.”
The Winner: DAISY MAY COOPER & RICHARD HERRING
1. Shoe-ting for the Stars
The Task: Catapult the shoe into the bathtub.
The Highlights: Johnny Vegas falling off the ladder and obviously getting told off by the health and safety manager. A very pregnant Daisy May Cooper doing high kicks. Richard Herring’s 16 minutes of lonely sledge stamping. Mawaan’s frustrated and gymnastic efforts. Literally everything Katherine did: from asking Alex to do everything, whispering in the hopes the mics wouldn’t pick it up and asking if her shoe had gone into the bathtub when she had actually managed to fling it behind her. Mawaan having the first emotional breakdown of the series after 31 minutes and 84 attempts.
The Winner: DAISY MAY COOPER.