RuPaul’s Drag Race: All Stars 4 – Outfit Ranking

It’s back, back, back, again! And has, I’m going to say it, a potentially better cast than All Stars 2. I don’t think there’s anyone I’m not delighted to see come back – and most of them are pretty fucking good runway Queens and so I thought we would keep a running ranking of their runway looks over the season – going from best to worst!

Naomi Smalls: Allstar Eleganza

naomi final gown

If Dior did a couture line based on Mortal Kombat this would be the final gown and she would walk out to Kung Lao’s themetune. There is almost too much going on with the bedazzled to hell fetishy chainmail, the prolapsed asshole sleeves and the skirt that could hide a circus tent but it just comes together to create A Fashion Moment™ that may have swallowed up any other queen.

Manila Luzon: Swerves and Curves

Manila.png

FINALLY. Someone has done a rococo 18th century French courtier look as well as Raja (and perhaps better tbqh). I HAVE BEEN SO THIRSTY FOR THIS. And the merging of Coco Chanel and Louis XVI makes so much sense. But what I truly appreciate is the fact she didn’t do the Marie Antoinette wig and went for something more along the lines of a male courtier – she looks like George Blagden as Louis XIV doing drag – it’s really clever.

Manila Luzon: Eleguence After Dark

manila runway

She. Stoned. Her. Armpits. But seriously the varying textures and shades of silver and grey just come together to great possibly one of the most stunning looks we’ve seen on the runway – for most people this would be their coronation gown

Trinity The Tuck: Allstar Eleganza

trinity final gown

As a million other people have pointed out it is a very good knock off of a Guo Pei gown, but it is a VERY GOOD knock off. I think I preferred it pre-reveal of the tiny tit cups but I appreciated the camp. I do wish the hair was sleeker, it’s a little casual looking but I like Trinity as a brunette.

Monet X Change: Allstar Eleganza

monet final gown

Correct. It’s so fucking good, that colour on her and the braided updo is  delight – I’m not entirely sure what the knick-knacks in her hair are and the billowing black Tulle Favric™ at the bottom is a little distracting but Monet just looks resplendent.

Monet X Change: Eleguence After Dark

monet runway

Gagged. That deep rich red velvet against her glowing skin? Just perfection. The necklace, while thematically appropriate for this evening at the opera look competes a little too much with the neckline and shoulder details and think she would have been better off with something that maybe draped more down her back and gave us that wow moment as she turned around

Naomi Smalls: Episode 8 Lipsync

naomi lipsync.png

It’s just so perfect – like the librarian who has dreams of being a big Hollywood star and during her nights reshelving books she puts her musical numbers on blast and just goes for it and is eventually discovered by a musical producer and A STAR IS BORN. She’s done this sort of thing before at Drag Con and I fully believe they are the same character from the same musical.

Latrice Royale: Plastique Fantastique

latrice

Looking phenomenal in her Princess Jasmine Sex Dungeon Octopus kink gown. Imagine having brought this to the show and potentially not getting to wear it? Thank Gay God she came back.

Valentina: Entrance

Valentina ent.png

Lots of people claimed this was made out of trash bags and a nod to Alaska’s entrance looks but guys… It’s patent leather – would Valentina really do trash bags? Come on. It’s a remake of Yves Saint-Laurent’s bubble dress from a couple of years ago and it looks just as expensive – to the point where it might actually be the original. But to me the best part is still her hair and the 2 feathers – there’s just something delightfully Film Noir villainess about it – it’s a more subtle branding than Monet and Monique are going for.

Manila Luzon: Promo

Manila PROMO.png

This just makes me painfully excited for her runways because it’s sheer perfection and so fucking well made – the layering of the fabric to create a move convincing melting look and a nude illusion that actually works – it’s like gold dust on Drag Race. Ad you could chop off her head and still know this was Manila – which it what a promo photo should absolutely be.

Monique Heart: Entrance

Monique ent

Gay Archibishop Kinkwear apparently does it for me? I just thought this was really interesting and textured – I like a getup that feels engaging. And Monique certainly does that well and I like the way she incorporates her heart brand into her outfits.

Trinity The Tuck: Girl Group

trin routine

This is great – it’s not necessarily ~girl group~ and I very much get more Barbarella / Austin Power sexbot – it’s very much in the volume of the hips and the silver and purple colour combination. I hope this becomes one of her show staples because it’s a really great little dance number and if she wore it you better believe I would tip her a $20.

Monet X Change: Angelic White

monet

Yes for this Rihanna 2018 Met Gala reference – this runway feels like it was made for queens to crib from it and I appreciate that Monet did but took it that step further with the moment she dropped the ridiculous train to create her own runway and then the reveal of the bleeding heart which then helped make sense of the red contact lenses– it was clever, well executed and an interesting take on the theme.

Naomi Smalls: LaLaPaRUza Eleganza

Naomi Smalls.png

I MEAN. Sure, there’s much of an outfit but that’s the gag – her body literally is her Look™ – she works so hard to maintain it in a healthy way that damn right you better believe she is going to flaunt it in a runway theme that was so loose. And what I like even more is that despite there not being much there it’s still very designed and thought out with the studs, buckles and trimming – it certainly isn’t just a bra and panties.

Valentina:  LaLaPaRUza Eleganza

valentina

I mean, Valentina in red is just RIGHT. I love the mismatched gloves and asymmetry of the dress and god God if she doesn’t just look the spitting image of Veronica Lake. The padding is a touch Suspicious™ which is particularly accentuated by the belt – she looks like a ketchup bottle that you are desperately trying to get the last bit of sauce out of but in the MOST fabulous way.

Trinity The Tuck: Angelic White

trinity

The judges really had a thing for this and proclaimed it as “The highest level of drag” which… seems a reach. It’s a great outfit, and thank God for the fact we finally get a decent ply ostrich feather boa. But this feels like two trains of thought coming together and I don’t necessarily think they’ve geled in the best of ways – it feels both statuesque Greek Goddess and baroque Angel and I’m personally finding it jarring. Also one of the headpieces would have sufficed.

Naomi Smalls: Swerves and Curves

naomi

The characterization is what really sold this – had Naomi come out and simply stomped the runway it’d have fallen completely flat but coming out as a distraught housewife doing a disturbingly good Nicole Page-Brooks From Atlanta, Georgia impression was just so perfect. Do I wish the dress was maybe red polka dots and not yellow gingham – sure. Do I wish the shoes were cuter and not ankle boots? Definitely.

Gia Gunn: Talent Show

Gia Talentshow

It’s just immaculate. And I’m glad we finally have someone of Japanese heritage doing a kimono look and doing it RIGHT. The whole performance was just so ethereal and regal. She was robbed of a win.

Monique Heart and Shanida Heart

Monique

It’s playful, it’s camp and it’s very well made which is everything I personally love in a drag queen. I’m not in love with the head caps, although an ingenious way of covering up a wigline that you maybe didn’t have enough time to do properly. And then they swapped eyes and I fully fell in love with the whole thing, it was a great showpiece.

Jasmine Masters: Entrance

Jasmine Ent

She’s just sublime isn’t she? And it takes quite the queen to pull off the suit and jacket looks and it’s a Jasmine Masters staple. And she looks like that aunt at the party who has ALL the gossip and at the end of the day that’s what we want and need from Jasmine.

Monique Heart: Swerves and Curves

monique

If there’s a time to do a brown cow reference it might as well be when you’re padded like a Holstein cow – this would have been 100% better had she not said “Brown Cow” a million and one times before this but I still screamed when I saw it and after a couple of weeks of kind of middling to YIKES outfits it was fun to finally get the Monique I remembered. The wig is disturbingly adjacent to Aja’s Princess Disastah fiasco and I don’t really get the blue eyeshadow – and with the red wig it reads as a Jessica Rabbit reference that doesn’t make sense.

Naomi Smalls: Angelic White

naomi

Having an entirely unique take on a runway really helps you stand out and this was just so damn good – the guitar became a little cumbersome at times but I appreciate a prop. But I mean she could have walked out in that wig alone and I’ve have adored this – it is so perfectly Prince. I am slightly concerned about the recurring white ankle boots which I’m sure are the same ones from her Curves and Swerves runway.

Latrice Royale: Eleguence After Dark

latrice runway

Latrice at the end of the day is the definition of High Drag and this is STUNNING. It’s monochromatic but she was so clever in utilising different textures and shades – it certainly made up for her disaster of a girl group outfit.

Naomi Smalls: Promo

Naomi PROMO

The colours and the little butterflies and flowers in her hair remind me a lot of that kind of terrible film Epic that had  Beyonce voicing a fairy queen? It is one of the more simple promo looks but it certainly makes an impact.

Naomi Smalls: Girl Group

naomi routine

This is absolutely the most current of the Girl Group looks – you could go to any big popstar’s concert now and there would be a 80% chance they would be wearing an adjacent look.

Monet X Change: Boots The House Down

monet

The Autobots, but make them fashion. I love the superhero sleekeness of this – the razor cut hair and sharp shoulders are very Black Widow to me. I do wish the boots had a bit more structure – they got a bit floppy which made the profile a little inelegant and lumpy. I also would not have been mad if she had scrapped the bright blue plastic shin guards.

Farrah Moan:  LaLaPaRUza Eleganza

farrah

This was certainly the most fun of the dance costumes – it moved well but you could still see her body (Farrah’s lipsync-ing leaves A LOT to be desired though). I had fun watching it on the runway – it’s like a gay cat toy and I appreciate that.

Valentina: Eleguence After Dark

val runway

This feels like an unnecessary RuDemption of her lilypad jumpsuit from the Hair Runway in season 9 and it’s great – it feels like it could be on the cover of a spring issue of Vogue

Naomi Smalls and Extra Smalls

naomi

I just fucking love this so much and she has set a really high standard for the family resemblance challenge (Cracker be damned). It was a clever new take on it that I really appreciated and the Naomi Smalls cosplay is ON POINT.

Monet X Change: Super Queen

monet sq

If there’s one thing Monet does so incredibly well it’s working black and African culture into her looks and this is such a cool mixture of superhero and African warrior that it looks like it could be straight out of Black Panther, to the point where I had to check if it wasn’t actually a direct copy of an outfit from the film.

Gia Gunn:  LaLaPaRUza Eleganza Reveal

gia gunn

Gia in gold is always correct and I just appreciate that she managed to reveal to an outfit that was actually considerably better than the first outfit and the reveal was SEAMLESS and we all know Gia has had issues with that in the past.

Naomi Smalls: Boots The House Down

naomi

First of all, those are shin guards not boots and I’m not sure this was the outfit for this runway but I still love it. I do wish the leather bondage bodice fit better – if you’re going to wear a round necked bodice you kind of have to paint on your tits or else it reads as boy – Miz Cracker had numerous instances of the same issue. But I just love the layering of the leather and the billowing renaissance-esque sleeves. And then the fetish-y Malifiencent horns cap the look off perfectly and take it to that drag-fantasy aesthetic that I personally adore.

Manila Luzon:  LaLaPaRUza Eleganza

manila

I desperately want to like this more than I do but I just find it a little too overthought – to me it doesn’t have the effortless glam-camp that Manila’s other outfits do and maybe it’s because the bo-peep / 1940’s Dior silhouette to me seems too disparate with the spaghetti theme but it also might be that it’s secretly kind of just an ugly outfit. The hat is also not nearly fuck-off big enough.

Farrah Moan: Talent Show

Farrah Talentshow

While not wholely unexpected from Farrah I did appreciate that she delved out of her usual pastel colour palette and gave us this beautiful sexy starburst burlesque outfit. Admittedly the dress she started out in was so fucking ugly and I’m sure she regrets ever bringing it on stage…

Monet X Change: Promo

Monet PROMO

This reads so differently to everyone else’s promo looks – the cape, the wig, THOSE HIPS! It’s that perfect amount of modern edge and yet feels kind of like what the 80s unrealistically thought everyone would wear to the grocery store in the future.

Trinity The Tuck: Eleguence After Dark

trin runway

I feel like I should like this more than I do – there was something about it that just didn’t come across to me – she wasn’t really selling it on the runway and seemed to be struggling to walk in it – the asymmetrical hem definitely got stuck under her foot at one point and I kind of wish it had just been a short number and I really hate quite how much the colour of the wig matches the dress – I wish it was blond – give me the full Russian heiress fantasy.

Manila Luzon: Angelic White

manila

It’s fine – it feels a little like a homemade version of Trinity’s  but it also gives me a lot of Vanna White in Goddess of Love and I’m a sucker for a made for TV movie reference. Also that film is deliciously terrible and everyone should watch it. My main issue with this was the fact there was so much going on around her waist and I feel like she could have gotten rid of the wings because I like the cherubs.

Naomi Smalls: Kitty Cat Couture

Naomi

It’s the best Kitty Cat Couture runway because it wasn’t a creepy humanoid feline, or a spray painted gown… But I do genuinely love it. It’s cartoony and fun, there’s a slight Anie vibe to the oversized sweater and the bug-eyed cats. I wasn’t a fan of the two different eye shadows she had on, it’s never a gimmick I fully understand to be honest.

Monet X Change: Final Lipsync

monet lipsync

I will fight anyone that says Monet in a pussycat wig and a sparkly bodysuit isn’t a delight, it’s simple, clean and just lets her give a great performance – some queens don’t need everything and a kitchen sink on them to shine…

Monique Heart: Allstar Eleganza

monique final gown

Maybe without the gloves? But also, I just wish there was some colour. Monique looks SO GOOD in jewel tones that having this funerary black ostrich shaped gown as the culmination of her entire journey was a little disappointing to be honest.

Monet X Change: Plastique Fantastique

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She looks like an Atlantean gladiator from Aquaman – the asymmetry of the plating is very crustacean-like. The hair is a little disparate, but I appreciate the pop of colour.

Gia Gunn:  LaLaPaRUza Eleganza 2

gia gunn 1

In my mind she’s referencing St. Trinians – which is exactly where I believe Gia Gunn went to school – and I am always here for that. Had this not had the reveal I’d probably like it a little less but I appreciated that this could work as a look on its own – which is more than can be said for a lot of the other reveals we’ve seen recently.

Monet X Change – Episode 5 Lip Sync

monet lipsync

I will eat up every glittery bodysuit and pussycat wig that Monet wears because it just looks so right on her.

Monet X Change: Swerves and Curves

Monet

 

What can I say – I love a campy reference and this one is just so right and I’m glad someone FINALLY did it and more importantly I’m glad Monet did it because this is exactly the kind of look she sells so well and I don’t think the episode had a more entertaining moment than watching Monet waddle down the runway with that glass precariously taped to her obscene ass ❤

Monique Heart: Kitty Cat Couture

monique

I like big fuck off boots. I like a big fuck off hat. So, I’m sold entirely BUT THE MAKEUP! It’s so damn well done and perfect that the moment she peaked around that ludicrous musketeer hat I screamed. I do wish the sword was a little less flaccid, but the pussy is good.

Manila Luzon: Episode 5 Lip Sync

manila lipsync

When you’ve got work until 5 but have to be at the disco for 5:30. This outfit just tells such a good story – with the sensible khaki trousers, the button-up top and the glittery pumps that definitely spent the day in her handbag. We are all this girl on a Friday.

Trinity the Tuck: Plastique Fantastique

trinity

I love that Monet and Trinity both had plastic looks from the same guy, check out Abraham Levy’s Instagram he has dressed SO MANY of the girls for the runway and their tours. It’s insane. I just love the motion that this has despite literally being the most fucking heavy, static piece of plastic.

Monique Heart: Boots The House Down

monique

I screamed. I just think this is so fun and campy, I question the denim booty shorts – I realise she needed something short to show off the boots but I kind of wish she was just in a short red dress – something like Cardi B’s burgundy babydoll dress at the 2018 iHeart Radio Awards and then even have the denim shorts as a little peek-a-boo moment.

Jasmine Masters: Talent Show

Jasmine Talentshow

I just fucking live for Jasmine in a pantsuit and this rich velvet and bedazzled Liza Minelli Does Beetlejuice number is just sublime and like her the infamous elimination gown – she should have just been safe for this fucking suit.

Naomi Smalls: Entrance

Naomi ent

I love this lilac colour on Naomi and I find her use of volume and texture to really be incredibly clever – she looks like a very nicely wrapped bottle of wine. It is a little bit predictable for Naomi but it has that extra level of polish and extravagance that Farrah’s entrance outfit just lacked.

Manila Luzon: Entrance

Manila ent

We all love a reference and this was just a delight and who knew you could sequin tyre tracks? It’s really the level of thought and effort that goes into a look like this from Manila – the crossed out eyes and the bandaid on her knee just elevate the cartoony aesthetic beyond fun campiness.

Jasmine Masters: Promo

Jasmine PROMO

This reminds me a lot of when Tyra hot-glued lace to her arms and legs for the bridal runway. This could have easily looked la little crapped up but all the lacy details and the weird gills in the hair – it just makes me think of Goldeen who will always be the best fish pokemon and no one can convince me otherwise.

Farrah Moan: Eleguence After Dark

farrah runway

The fact Farrah was just so excited by her 20 ply ostrich feather boa kind of sums this outfit up perfectly. Now if she had come out in a full nude illusion with just the boa? Would have been more impressed.

Trinity The Tuck: Swerves and Curves

trinity

Had I not seen so many queen wearing this type of hair (it’s by Zach Kilian and you should go check his stuff out because he is insanely talented and a delight) I’d have been more gagged but this look kind of falls flat to me – especially as her promo look was so similar in concept. With it being the “curves and swerves” theme and Trinity repeatedly calling herself “The Body” I had expected more than this – if anything she looks less padded and curvaceous than she usually does.

Manila Luzon: Episode 3 Lipsync

manila lipsync

I mean these were better boots than her Boots themed runway. I also love that this feels like It could have been worn by Whitney – the shape of the wig is just so perfect and the dress and jacket are 80s enough to read as a reference but the pairing is quirky enough to seem modern at the same time – Manila’s styling abilities are just on another level even for a relatively basic look the thought and care that has gone into it is evident.

Monique Heart: Promo

Monique PROMO

Monique’s obsession with outfits that faces on them is my absolute favourite thing. It’s just so perfectly her (I mean it literally is her face right?) and everything she does beings a smile to my face. I do kind of wish this was less cracked up with the one legged chap and possibly dial down on the fringe. I also wish the face looked a little less like it had just been through 2 rounds with Rocky Balboa.

Trinity The Tuck: Promo

Trinity PROMO

I stared at her promo picture for a good 3 minutes trying to figure out who it was – not because it’s a bad outfit (it’s really not) it just doesn’t strike me as particularly “Trinity” and especially as she is now rebranding her name as Trinity The Tuck I thought it’d have made more sense to you know… feature The Tuck? This is also kind of what I think Vanjie had intended her Barbie Loofa look to end up looking like.

Manila Luzon: Plastique Fantastique

manila

Can you imagine the noise this made coming down the runway? It’s a tired silhouette but bonus points because who doesn’t want a Carmen Miranda gift basket?

Trinity The Tuck: Episode 9 Lipsync

trinity lsfyl

I love a couture runway reference, I could personally have done without the peplumed belt, that obviously turned out to be a reveal because… it’s Trinity. I do also think it’s in the wrong material and with that amount of volume and structure it begins to look a little heavy but the colour is sensational.

Naomi Smalls: Eleguence After Dark

naomi runway

With the silver scaled fabric and the massive black hair I get a definite reference to Katya’s “Future of Drag” Rosie the Robot realness look from All Stars 2 but much sleeker – although I waver on the payette skirt – there’s something a little limp about it – as though it needs some sort of stricture or stiffer lining.

Valentina: Boots The House Down

val

You know when you take all the clothes off a Barbie and it’s just a sexless plastic humanoid? This feels like if you did that to Jessica Rabbit.

Trinity The Tuck and Indigo The Tuck

trinity

I love a Versace moment and this goes beyond that and adds a layer of 80s nostalgia power brunch – these girls ordered an Egg’s Benedict and 2 Bloody Marys and only drank the Bloody Marys. I do however take issue with the ankle strap that is OVER the pants. WHY? I hate it.

Monique Heart: Super Queen

monique sq

I liked this, it has a vintage superhero look and a clear nod to Storm from X-men, I wish it was more like A’Keria’s outfit from the VH1 Season 11 Live RuVeal that we shall not speak of. But the cape billowed nicely in the choreography and I enjoyed it.

Naomi Smalls: Plastique Fantastique

naomi

I mean sure, fine. I’m not mad at it but that wig is such a mound of concerning piss yellow that I just can’t get on board. Her head also reminds me a lot of Aja’s flower look from Allstars 3. It is also absolutely a redemption of her tennis rollerskater look from Season 8.

Monet X Change and Patty Cash:

monet

I don’t think I loved this quite as much as the judges – the gold layering kind of muddled into one giant blob on screen, so perhaps it was better in person as I think a lot of glitzy sequined looks tend to be, but the fit on those pants is IMPECCABLE.

Trinity The Tuck: Kitty Cat Couture

trinity

Ehh. It needed something on top of the “I’m a cat” concept. Everyone else took a step back and Trinity just wore a good cat bodysuit. Granted she sold it but it’s a middling look at best.

Naomi Smalls: Super Queen

naomi sq

It’s not the most inspired look but it’s good. It’s fine, WHAT ARE THOSE SHOES THOUGH? Ankle books or death with a catsuit girl.

Valentina: Swerves and Curves

val

I really love both the idea and direction behind this – it’s a cool editorial gown that I am glad she wore – I just don’t know that it worked particularly brilliantly on television. I’d have appreciated more of the embellishments – the spools of thread, the measuring tape and the pin cushion are my favourite bits. What really confused me and took it to an almost Tim Burton Nightmare Before Christmas realm was the dusting of powder all over her arms. And now I kind of wish she had just presented this but with more elaborate stitches and gone with the full high fashion Sally fantasy.

Farrah Moan: Girl Group

farrah routine

I don’t really get “girl group” from this so much as I get Power Ranger SheRa Fantasy -which I am not mad at. The wig looks like it may have once seen better days and I think if it wasn’t a nude illusion and was just white and pink it would maybe have been more thematically appropriate

Trinity The Tuck: Episode 3 Lipsync

trinity lipsync

This feels almost daytime drag-y to me. I genuinely think you could go to any mall or shopping centre and see this exact outfit somewhere. The look is at least cohesive with the Madonnaness of her makeup – I feel like Madonna would have worn this outfit in the 80s – I just think that such an on the nose Madonna reference was a bit of a choice for a Whitney lipsync.

Trinity The Tuck: Super Queen

trinity sq

I just find this to be entirely crapped up, there’s a good outfit in there somewhere but my God do we have to wade throw a confection of weird boobs and flimsy spikey whatsits.

Trinity The Tuck: Boots The House Down

trinity

I appreciate that she went for some rather incredible fuck off boots but that doesn’t stop them from looking like the Hot Topic belt rack. I think maybe skip the necklaces and give me a cute little leather motorcycle jacket and it would have cleaned the look up A LOT.

Latrice Royale: Episode 7 Lipsync

latrice lip

It is a perfectly serviceable dance costume and a nice change of colour pallet for Latrice. The blue lips were also a smart choice for the lipsync and I think it’s a detail most girls often forget. WE GOTTA BE ABLE TO SEE YOUR LIPS.

Latrice Royale: Talent Show

Latrice Talentshow

Part of this might just be because of the sheer joy of watching Latrice skip around the stage and twirl the fuck out of those flags but also I really like the construction lines and the fabric combinations – not a huge fan of the makeup; the lips were a little off.

Monique Heart – Angelic White

monique

To be fair, Monique already did this runway in season 10 with her entirely overlooked feathers runway so I don’t blame her for maybe not knocking it out of the park because had she come out in something along the lines of Trinity or Manila they’d have clocked her. But then reinvent and take a different route ala Naomi because making the feathers out of blinds was maybe the wrong choice. Josephine Baker is some sound inspiration and suits Monique well but this was just lumpy and a bit of a hodge-podge of ideas.

Jasmine Masters:  LaLaPaRUza Eleganza

jasmine masters

Why does it look so old? It has the same washed out look as your dad’s old t-shirt that you wear to sleep in. It could easily be elevated with brighter colours and some sort of applique to at least give it SOME texture.

Trinity The Tuck: Episode 1 Lipsync

Trinity Lipsync

There’s a lot going on here. Part Marilyn Monroe, part Veronica Lake, part circus trapeze and yet somehow it all came together and did give me quite a lot of Mariah Carey.

Valentina: Talent Show

Valentina Talentshow

It’s your pretty middle of the road drag staple performance outfit – eye catching and sparkly and moves well. I just really question the shoe choice because they are quite the choice. Her makeup was easily the best part of the outfit – the way she does her eyes is hypnotic.

Monet X Change: Entrance

Monet ent

I appreciate the sleekness and Monet’s strongest aspect in terms of her looks is her padding so I expect we’ll see A LOT of sparkly leotards which… might be an issue. This is very plain but there’s an elegance and confidence in it that I think elevates it beyond being ~just a bodysuit~.

Valentina: Promo

Valentina PROMO

Her hair and makeup will always be untouchable and she did not disappoint there. However, the outfit is kind of a little First Episode Sewing Challenge and just feels a little slapdash. I think if the disks had of maybe been placed in a more purposeful manner it’d have been better, it’s the same syndrome as Dusty’s dots – it’s gotta make sense. This just feels like she didn’t have an iridescent outfit and had 1 day to make it.

Gia Gunn: Entrance

Gia ent

I’m still confused by a lot of this. And but that I mean those pearl and crucifix encrusted boots – because they are a good 50% of her outfit and then the top that just looks like an ugly Christmas jumper and the crown of thorns – it is a whirlwind of religious iconography and Santee Alley bargains.

Trinity The Tuck: Entrance

Trinity ent

I don’t hate the idea of this. I just really hate orange and green as a colour combinations – and this particular neon iteration is quite frankly a visual nightmare to me. I think if maybe it was just a neon green zip tie skirt, a sleaker more neutral top and then the orange hair maybe I would have liked it more but right now I just can’t get passed the whole genderfuck Jared Leto Joker-ness of it all.

Trinity The Tuck:  LaLaPaRUza Eleganza

trinity

I refuse to even give her pre-reveal outfit the time of day – coming out looking like Voldemort getting a haircut and expecting us to be gagged by a reveal is really misguided. Even worse is when the revealed outfit is kind of just a generic dance costume that I am sure is just her Season 9 Lipsync For The Crown outfit. Yes, her tuck is on point and it’s a great dance number but for someone who has been going off at the other girls for basic looks it’s VERY mundane.

Monet X Change: Episode 2 Lip-sync

monet lip

This is absolutely just her outfit from the Season 10 makeover episode isn’t it? It even had the same disappointing reveal and while I love this emerald green fabric on Monet – the mermaid sequin just kind of makes it look a little messy – and then the heavy suede green shoe. I’m not feeling it – and the wig (which I actually like) just doesn’t go with the outfit and the whole thing just didn’t gel with the lipsync song.

Gia Gunn: Promo

Gia PROMO

I don’t really have a lot to say about this other than the fact it’s a perfectly serviceable look, the proportions of it remind me a little of Sharon’s Platinum and Gold runway look. I just really wish the bottom of the corset had a better finish because it looks a little unfinished. But Goddamn Gia can accessorise.

Latrice Royale: Swerves and Curves

latrice

I guarantee you that this dress has been in Latrice’s drag wardrobe for the last 10 years and it’s just kind of muted for All Stars – she looks gorgeous in it and I see why she packed it but when you’ve got everyone else fucking killing it this just sort of fades from memory as quickly as she turned the corner.

Latrice Royale: Entrance

Latrice ent

By no means bad, it’s just I wish it was a colour or more of a nude illusion. I love the purple sequined pattern it’s just the base fabric is that dusty shade of taupe that I don’t think will ever be flattering on anyone. But as usual Latrice’s head is a Godsend.

Manila Luzon: Episode 4 Lipsync

manila lipsync

Why am I almost certain that Shangela has worn this exact outfit? It certainly works as a much more successful Whitney moment than Monique’s outfit – the wig verged on more Joan Jett than Whitney but with the dress is gave me the illusion and fantasy that the lipsync needed.

Manila Luzon: Boots The House Down

manila

I like this in theory I just feels like there was a lot going on and it go a bit messy – I love a fun runway gimmick and the the rabbit theme was cute and silly but then between the grey tank top, the faded denim booty shorts and the unbrushed wig there was a lack of a polish and finesse which is usually Manila’s strongpoint.

Monique Heart: Eleguence After Dark

monique runway

I would have thought the season 10 routine would have taught Monique that maybe not all reveals are necessary or good and this was very much that. It’s just really crapped up and while parts of it are very High Drag Elegance – I am obsessed with her gloves – but it kind of just tips over to tickity tack tacky. And I think if she had just came straight out in her nude illusion it would have maybe been more of the moment she wanted it to be.

Monique Heart:  LaLaPaRUza Eleganza

Monique

What is up with Monique and her iridescent tit-hankies? They did slowly get ripped off during her lipsync, by accident or design remains to be seen. I do think her mug was particularly good today – Monique’s wheelhouse is definitely the vibrant purple and electric blues, I just wish she used them in better ways.

Monique Heart: Girl Group

monique routine

Everyone came for the coat or the pants and I was just sat at home asking why is nobody talking about the terrible bra? I don’t even hate the pants as much as everyone else, what I do wish however was that the coat was fur and gave us a better play on textures – I think it’d have been a lot more successful.

Valentina: Episode 2 Lipsync

val lip

She really loves her basic silver dance numbers doesn’t she? Although with her energetic routines it makes sense – and at the end of the day the outfit isn’t meant to wow for it and it doesn’t so, success? I did love that it was so short that whenever she twirled they had to blur her ass.

Trinity The Tuck: Final Lipsync

trinity lipsync

People read Monet to filth for her final lipsync outfit but Trinity wears this and apparently it’s ok?

Monique Heart: Plastique Fantastique

monique

I love the idea of the Josephine Baker reference but when you’re going to reference such an icon fabulous historical fashion moment, you really do have to amp it up to 11 and this just isn’t that. As usual, her hair and face are on point and I wish she had done something more in keeping with her dripping slime glasses, which I need a pair of IMMEDIATELY.

Naomi Smalls: Talent Show

Naomi Talent

This outfit to me just looks a little under done – and was weirdly bulky around the crotch. I thought she was going to make a Linda Evangelista in a diaper reference but then it never happened and the actual reveal was that she was Disco Pennywise the whole time. I did enjoy the star shaped glasses and her glitter lip was so beautiful. I mean Naomi’s lips will never disappoint.

Manila Luzon: Talent Show

Manila Talentshow

As someone who repeatedly bingewatches all of Bob Ross’ videos I appreciate this. I wish she had just made this first look a little more drag-y – more paint splatters or something and then not bothered with the later reveal because it, much like Monet’s, didn’t really feel necessary to me.

Farrah Moan: Promo

Farrah PROMO

I love Farrah’s aggressively nude aesthetic – after all she uses so much highlighter she is basically holographic already. I’m just never going to be a huge fan of the sort of slave-Leia look which this feel very much akin too, I’ll be it the Victoria Secret reimagining. But it also looks like she could be Aphrodite in Clash of the Titans where she briefly appears as an over exposed blur in the corner of the screen for all of 3 seconds.

Monique Heart: Talent Show

Monique Talent

Both Monique and Monet came in hot with their branding with equally unsuccessful results. I suppose the first episode is the time to do it but a little more subtlty woud have done them the world of good. Or go all out, give me a horned headdress a la Bebe’s All Stars 3 leopard headdress. This is just very weak and looked like it could have been made that afternoon.

Farrah Moan: Entrance

Farrah ent

I mean it’s Farrah by numbers… And made by the infamous Chau Chic Designs so it’s a miracle she even had it in time for filming. Although having to get a different outfit may have done her some good.

Latrice Royale and Alexis Knight

latrice

It’s very old school drag, but not in the best way possible and I think I just have an aversion to that patterned red sequin fabric that always just looks aggressively like festive vomit and I appreciate the volume of the wig but clearly it was made for Latrice and Latrice only but what you gonna do.

Manila Luzon and Iyowife Luzon

manila

Manila has done so many high concept looks that cleverly fold fashion and camp into one and this one just doesn’t live up to that. Sure, she had to put two looks together and that’s demanding but I’m a sucker for a deck of cards reference and this just feels like you can buy it anywhere. I do however live for Manila in black lipstick.

Latrice Royale: Boots The House Down

latrice

I think I would be more on board with this on a regular season but for All Stars there’s just a lack of polish – it’s literally three rather tacky necklaces glued to her boots and matching fringe draped rather inelegantly across her tits. And I’m just not a fan of the the wig that is literally so far back on her head it looks like she’s stood in front of it – I don’t think the blue lighting helps the matter

Latrice Royale: Promo

Latrice PROMO

I love that she has simultaneously managed to look like Lady Tremaine in the animated Cinderella and Cate Blanchett in the live action reboot, but I also think this is largely where it goes wrong: there is just so much going on and it’s very cluttered around the top with the aggressive mutton sleeves and high neck. A little more skin and perhaps ditch the hat and earrings and just go with an elaborate headwrap. I also think they just did Latrice seriously dirty with this angle.

Manila Luzon: Girl Group

manila routine

If she was going for Sailor Moon Character at Wimbledon then, sure she knocked out of the park. I don’t think that particular neckline is very flattering on Manila – and the colours are just that certain shade of purple and blue tha makes it feel VERY junior. And I think when Detox has done such a similar looks to such an insanely gorgeous and exaggerated degree you kind of have to at leats match it, exceed it or not bother. I’m not even going to dignify those socks with a read.

Gia Gunn: Girl Group

Gia routine

I understand none of this – the insane skirt that came off just about instantly and had no impact, the motorcycle jacket and the holographic fabric – it’s like an extreme sports disco fairy and I am confused.

Trinity The Tuck: Talent Show

Trinity Talentshow

 

This wasn’t exactly meant to be a fashion statement and was more for the character and it gave me the Avon Lady pyramid scheme event hostess that it needed to. I just wish it was maybe had a touch more vavavoom.

Gia Gunn: Boots The House Down

gia

I think this was quite a brave outfit choice for a transwoman, and I say that as a transwoman, wearing something that bares that much chest fills me with fear so I applaud Gia for having the confidence to wear, and maybe it looked better outside of the blue lighting on the runway but it still didn’t wow me and I think she should have worn her entrance boots for this runway. They’d have been a better and much more cohesive than these velvet monstrosities.

Monet X Change: Talent Show

MonetTalentshow

This is everything her entrance look wasn’t: bulky, inelegant and shapeless. I kind of feel that Monet could maybe take a less on (and I cannot believe I’m about to say this) from Eureka in terms of how to play with volume. And I realise that part of the bulkiness is that there was a reveal but the truth is the reveal was not worth it and like Asia O’Hara I refuse to give it any attention.

Latrice Royale: Girl Group

latrice routine

This was easily the last thing she packed and she just stuffed it in because she thought it might be useful because I don’t get anything very “Latrice” from this – apart of the monogramed L but that’s not really cutting it. I woul however have loved this is Latrice had just worn this exact outfit and done Farrah Moan for Snatch Game.

Monet X Change: Girl Group

monet routine

I will never be a fan of high-waisted bathing suits – and is this was acid washed and bedazzled denim? GIRL WHY? Her wig and makeup deserved a better outfit.

Gia Gunn: Eleguence After Dark

Gia runway

The proportions of this are bonkers – it’s like she’s wearing a beach umbrella around her knees – you could hide the entire cast and crew under that skirt. I think if her hair was maybe bigger it’d have balanced it out but one someone has petite as Gia I’m not sure this gown could ever have worked.

Valentina: Angelic White

valentina

This is just so ugly and it was made that much worse by Valentina telling us how expensive it is and how hard it was to make – which I’m sure is all true but that doesn’t make a dress that looks like a cabriolet chair and a seagull had a fight a good dress.

Monet X Change:  LaLaPaRUza Eleganza

monet

This just gets worse every time I looks at it – I keep noticing new things like the awful fit,the bunching on the sides WAS IT MEANT TO BE A NUDE ILLUSION, those fucking shoes and severely mismatches tights. She did have immunity so I can’t blame her and on paper this is a great dress but in practice it… is not.

Monique Heart: Episode 4 Lipsync

Monique lipsync.png

Wel, the wig and makeup are a successful Whitney reference I will give her that. But that outfit is a piece of fabric and not giving me any kind of Whitney vibe behind the colour – and for the longest time I was trying to work out if she was waving a hankerchief about or if it was a cuff and I’m still not entirely sure. She did manage to keep her wig on which I truly believe is entirely why she won that lipsync.

Latrice Royale:  LaLaPaRUza Eleganza

latrice

This is not the one. The lines make no sense, the tan netting is bizarre, THE WIG LINE. And then the boots. Oh Latrice – it’s just a total lack of evolution. At least the skirt was fun and her makeup was great but it still kind of failed on a multitude of levels.

Monique Heart: Episode 9 Lipsync:

monique lsfyl

It’s like toilet paper caught in a windstorm. How many of these scrappy fabric dance costumes does she own and does she make them 5 minutes before the lipsync?

Valentina: Plastique Fantastique

valentina

This is just a disaster – it literally looks like something that wa made in one of the first episode sewing challenges. By a queen that couldn’t sew. The best thing about it is the fact that Valentina got eliminate wearing a crown she made herself which is the perfect fullstop for her Fantasy™.

Monet X Change: Kitty Cat Couture:

Monet

This somehow manages to read as every animal except cat. There’s pig, mouse, Slowpoke, naked mole rat, river dolphin and a little dash of Haribo jellybaby. She may have been going for a Pink Panther illusion but if you’re doing that you better pull some Nina Bonina Brown demonic poodle shit.

Latrice Royale: Kitty Cat Couture

Latrice

This is just so bafflingly ugly, to the point where I kind of love it but no… it’s. It’s really bad. There are so many more dynamic ways his gown could have been done and one of the main issues is just the colours or weirdly washed out nursery colours AND THE SPRAY PAINTED ELEPHANT. I can’t.

Trinity the Tuck: Episode 7 Lipsync

trinity lip

Absolutely not. I refuse.

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