Ariadne Reviews

Your Premium Reality TV Recapping Nightmare

Celebrity MasterChef 2023, Episode 8: Bird-footed Wife

It’s all gone a bit Line of Duty on Celebrity MasterChef.

All together now! RAAAAAAWHIDE!

Celebrity MasterChef 2023, Episode 7: Guinea Pig Waitstaff

Hello? Is this thing on?

Nobody mention the elephant humming a catchy advert jingle in the room.

Celebrity MasterChef 2023, Episode 6: Sticky Toffee Tiger Fight

He’s unlocked empathy!

I hope you like flatbread.

Celebrity MasterChef 2023, Episode 5: Fistfuls of Unsexy Noodles

Nothing has ever felt more like a hostage situation.

Deep down, we all feel like Mrs. Doubtfire.

Celebrity MasterChef 2023, Episode 4: Six-sided Duck Dice

Long Lost Family always gets me.

I wrote this recap with my bare hands.

Celebrity MasterChef 2023, Episode 3: Potato Operated Werewolf

Contrary to popular belief, this is not a dating show.

Please accept these three (3) chocolate truffles as an apology for my lateness.

Celebrity MasterChef 2023, Episode 2: Sirloin Multiplication Table

Lord, give me the confidence of James Buckley.

This episode could have been an email.

Celebrity MasterChef 2023, Episode 1: Rapidly Depressurised Blobfish

I have a new career path.

Has rice not suffered enough?

Sewing Bee 2023, The Final: Certified Mother Figure

Things you don’t want to hear a surgeon saying No. 42

I couldn’t not write about the final.

Blog Update: A Short Hiatus

Warning: Sincerity.