Matt Goss is living my dream – dancing with Nadiya, wearing nice hats, eating entire cakes by himself while wearing nice hats.

I apologise for the amount of thrusting in this recap.

Recap ahoy!

Missing: One Medium Sized White Horse, please return to Tess Daly if found.

WHO. MADE. THE. BOAT?

Well, we did it guys. We’ve made it to the final and I’ve still got most of my fingerprints in tact. 3 more years of this and I’ll be an unstoppable cat burglar!

I needed a striking header imagine and I’m afraid it was this or Neil Jones looking like your Bad Vibes Uncle. Consider me merciful.

It’s the last hump before The Final and somehow the Halloween pro dance continues to haunt me. You’ve been warned.

I wonder what this means in the Naval Flag Code?

It’s the semi-final baby! So rev your engines and get ready to drive that glittery bus over one of your favs!

We call this “Portrait of a Woman Who Never Has To Salsa Again.”

And now for the most tense Results Show I can ever remember!

And here we see a man consoling his favourite sack of potatoes.

It’s the quarter-final which means I’m lulled into a false sense of security at having to only recap 5 dances before being thrown back up to 8 next week.

Strictly Come Grade 1 Piano was much more Dan Walker’s speed.

Welcome to Week 10, where everyone is still recovering from the strange high of Musicals Week making for some erratic scoring and strange background shenanigans – Neil wasn’t getting enough attention, obviously.