Bake Off: The Professionals, Series 4, Episode 6: A Three Mouthful Coffin

He’s here to make truffles and suck blood. And he’s all done making truffles.

If you’re after a chocolate showpiece that has a miscellaneous piece of gubbins gently rotating on a pedestal just to the left of it, but not quite part of it, well I’ve got some options for you!

Elon Musk’s race to Mars is going swimmingly.

It’s as dramatic a finale as we’ve ever had – there’s leaks, spills, a little swearing and small moments of triumph. And that’s just Laura’s journey.

When you both wear the same thing and one of you is going to have to change.

The semi-finals had all the drama you could hope for: Scalpels! Heatwaves! Passion fruit! And an erect horn!

Point of View: you’re Dave’s latest victim.

It’s Dessert Week – a fixture that I have been sceptical of ever since that time they tried to convince us that making a trifle was baking and this week did nothing to dissuade me of my anti-jelly prejudices. What part of BAKE OFF does jelly not understand?

It’s hard to implement Jo Frost’s Naughty Step technique in a tent.

It’s 80s week – a celebration of the decade that gave us The Mississippi Squirrel Revival, Mommie Dearest, Margaret f’king Thatcher, the satanic panic and of course Casablanca: The TV Series.

It’s good to see Mel and Sue getting work.

Well, we barely made it through Pastry Week without accusations of cultural insensitivity so good luck for Japanese Week I guess.

Noel and Prue seem to have made the bizarre choice to swap outfits 5 minutes prior to filming.

Ah yes, at least there’s one wholesome tv show that hasn’t had a brush with Nazism…

This pretty much sums the week up.

It’s chocolate week and one of the few benefits of the delayed filming due to Covid is that they actually managed to dodge the heatwave this year so we at least didn’t have to watch their cakes slowly melt like The Wicked Witch of the West – no, they just went wrong in a multitude of other ways.