Bake Off: The Professionals, Series 5, Episode 3: The Modus Operandi of Fudge

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Have you ever wanted to see someone experience the thrillings rush of a sugar high and devastating blow of a sugar crash on national television? Buckle in.

These are the only facial expressions I pull during this show.

Ah yes, my favourite show: Professional Pastry Chefs Going Insane For 1 Hour.

You can spot the precise moment that Stacey Solomon stopped having fun after seeing two Showpieces collapse.

Finally, Channel 4 decided to do me a solid and actually put the episode online!

You know what they say, “A watched oven never heats up.”

Welcome to the final we’ve got fun AND SO MUCH ITALIAN STRESS.

The Union Jack bunting somehow makes this scene even more murdery.

It’s Patisserie Week in the tent which can only mean one thing: many, many distressing textures.

HE DID THE THING.

It’s Free-from week so really it only makes sense that the judging was free of logic.

The Jurgenator has entered Sleep Mode.

This week we see the return of Caramel Week – a theme last seen on the inaugural Channel 4 series of Bake Off and there’s a bit of a reason it was banished for several years considering The Stroopwafel Incident of Yore.

In order to save himself from elimination George uses an ingenious disguise to cloaks himself as Prue Leith.

It’s pastry week where obviously we have to ignore the years of general advice being “just buy the ready made stuff, Jus-Rol has perfected the artform.”

It’s no Statue of Liberty but I guess it’ll do.

Welcome to German Week where we do not have fun and games. But there’s a lot of biscuits, yeast and questionably problematic accent work going on. Clearly nobody learned anything from Japanese Week.