Ah yes, the slightly cannibalistic sounding talking head moment, a staple of the MasterChef franchise.

Welcome to my villain original story: a tale of Bolognese, Tacos and Quesadillas.

Brave is the woman that cooks in fluted sleeves.

It’s the third week of heats and JOhn Torode is still adamantly insisting that he can handle anything hotter than smoked paprika. Do your worst lads.

Gregg Wallace’s pirate impression leaves something to be desired.

It’s the second of our quarterfinals and there’s Parmesan flavoured discourse to be had!

That awkward moment when your dipping sauce almost kills Gregg Wallace.

I for one support Grace Dent in her rebellion against everyone in MasterChef: The Professionals denying us potatoes for an entire series.

And that’s just to fuel the chef.

The week gets off to an exciting week with Cod Wars, Panna Cotta Showdowns and basically everything Joanna said.

That’s certainly one way to win MasterChef.

If anyone had “Beef Jewellery” on their MasterChef 2022 Bingo Card, let me know because I will give you £50.

Me after finishing this recap after a weekend that I can only describe as “very not sober”.

Once again, I must apologise for the delay of these recaps – it will only be for this week unless there’s some other holiday this weekend that means I’m 6 cocktails deep before midday. Bottomless brunch, amiright?