Celebrity MasterChef Christmas Cook-off: The Corporealised Form of a Trombone Slide

Paint me like one of your French turkeys.

I hadn’t initially intended to recap the festive MasterChef specials but then Oti Mabuse showed up and Su Pollard did something awful to fruit and I truly had no choice.

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Celebrity MasterChef Christmas Cook-off: Salmon Armpits

These Netflix remakes of Hitchcock films are getting weird.

This is definitely a Christmas Special and not at all a suddenly put together contest designed entirely for Janet Street-Porter to win so that she stops sending Gregg Wallace and John Torode threatening letters. Definitely a Christmas special.

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