Your Premium Reality TV Recapping Nightmare
Paint me like one of your French turkeys.
I hadn’t initially intended to recap the festive MasterChef specials but then Oti Mabuse showed up and Su Pollard did something awful to fruit and I truly had no choice.
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Lock him in a temple of snakes and call him Cassandra.
It’s the final, and it’s an incredibly close run race. You might even say there is but 2 inches of clingfilm between them all…
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*he sips in French*
It’s the penultimate episode so I hope you’re ready for a 40 minute advert for a restaurant you can’t afford to go to without selling your first born child!
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That’s a pretty accurate summary of Marcus Wareing.
And thus we enter Finals Week with a flash of fire, a puff of smoke and bleary-eyed exhaustion.
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Big fan of professional chefs having to try to critique toast.
It’s the final heat of the semi-finals and we are wading into Burger Discourse.
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Very Me vs My Brain at 2am energy.
If you want to watch a man run a marathon, cater a 14 person kitchen service off of a single camping table, survive an earthquake all while having a nervous breakdown, you’re in luck!
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Currently, my favourite part of every episode is Daniel constantly looking like he’s staring into an abyssal void. Someone let the boy sleep.
And so we kick off the semi-finals with an abundance of lobster and more horrible things being done to egg yolks!
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It’s sophisticated gravy drinking because his pinky is out.
It’s the last of our semi-finals and seemingly a race to see who can annoy Jay Rayner the most!
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Gotta love a niche insult.
It’s the final heat and Marcus Wareing has clearly run out of dish ideas for the Skills Test and is only embracing chaos.
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Well, I found this week’s potential arsonist.
I must once again warn you about Bad Egg Gifs before going in to this recap.
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