We’re nearly at the mid-point of the season and so we’ve reached the point where Ru has step in and force everyone to stop being so boring and amp up the drama from a bit of tit-for-tat are the mirror to full on screaming matches across the room in Untucked and boy did it work. I tried my best to make sense of it.
Rubbing Salt In The Wound
Scarlet has departed and the only thing left to do is to read her lipstick message (which I can only assume is a lyric from her upcoming inevitable Bad RuGirl Song). Ra’Jah on the other hand is absolutely not bothered by it and cannot wait to scrub that mirror clean – I think it’s safe to say that after a third time in the bottom a Queen finally realises she’s pure filler and the only thing left to do is go Hell for leather for that villain edit, saying that Scarlet relied purely on the fact she was beautiful. I tried my best to keep my Ra’jah O’Hara Apologist stance but this week she was just messy, not entirely wrong in a few places, but she was letting everything get to her and it wasn’t allowing her to make the most coherent assessments of certain situations… She’s also still spouting the whole “if I have to lipsync every week to get to the final, I will” claptrap along with Silky and I think Brook and Nina perfectly encapsulate this entire exchange:
Also, I am here for this remake of Predator starring Ra’Jah and Silky.
RuPaul’s Sack Race
Big Titted Sack Race. That’s the challenge, simple and effective. Just strap on your best breastplate (boobsforqueen.com, that’s boobsforqueens.com), stuff your nicest bra and, I don’t know paint your face in some way, and speaking of faces in the constant theme of The Many Faces of Miss Shuga Cain:
I cannot get a grasp of what she looks like and I am always surprised and confused when I see her. Also Yvie is doing something and I’m not sure what:
I’m going to need a stronger clarity of concept, even for a mini challenge. Vanjie absolutely looks like someone’s sleep paralysis demon at 3am
There are some wildly flailing tits, with Nina and Silky both managing to lose 1 each and Brook’s end up around her naval, it’s a pity Dr. Zizmore retired.
In the end the winners are Nina West and Shuga Cain for no other reason than for the fact Ru gets to say “Nina Breast” and “Shuga Tits”. Hey, Shuga has to win something.
We Can RuBuild Him; We Have The Technology
After the whole Pearl saga in which Ru was accused of not caring about the Queens if the cameras weren’t rolling and then the whole Season 10 reunion palaver with The Vixen, I think it’s safe to say Ru had a bit of an image problem. Step forward Plastique’s family trauma and Ru hugging her like she’s the evil stepmother in a classic Disney film who is absolutely about to suck the life out of the princess. “I’m your mommy now.” she croons.
God was it a heavy week for Drama (that capital D is absolutely required) between Ra’Jah tail spinning into a villainous oblivion, Yvie’s ability to start an argument with a wall as well as Ru just stirring the pot and then running away as soon as it reaches the boil. At least they’re trying to make Untucked more interesting?
Yvie Vs. Silky
Let’s start with by far the most tiresome and self-aware feud. Does anyone care about the whole Beauty Drag Vs. Alternative Drag? We’ve gotten to a point with the fandom where anyone that doesn’t paint like a pageant girl is immediately a fan favourite and anyone who challenges them to step away from that and do something alternative to alternative is a villain – thanks a lot Sharon Needles and PhiPhi O’Hara. Silky absolutely knows that Yvie is a dead cert for top 4, she knew it the moment Yvie’s turned the corner with that little RC car, and she also knows that every Alt-Queen needs a Pageant Villain and that’s why this hole thing feels incredibly self-produced and exhausting.
Yvie Vs. Vanjie
It’s really difficult to keep track of argument involving Vanjie because her mouth is at least 10 seconds ahead of her mind at all times and when you add Yvie shouting “I’M JUST KEEPING IT REAL!” to the mix the whole thing becomes a cacophonous melange of exhausted drag queen lingo and stank faces. Personally I think everyone being tired of Yvie being The Arbiter of Drag and Silhouette Maven is an absolute mood – especially when she calls it out in such a smug manner and then hides behind the whole “I’m just keeping it real” when it’s done so obviously to antagonise someone – if you’re going to be a cunt, just be a cunt, don’t hit a dog and tell it it’s a steak.
A’Keria Vs. Silky’s Hair
A’Keria continues to be The Den Mother and I will cherish her forever because of it.
Ra’Jah Vs Plastique
Tag yourself, I’m Brooke.
I completely get where Ra’Jah was coming from – seeing an obvious frontrunner like Plastique getting actual physical contact with Ru and more affirmation following Alyssa Edwards showing up and then a video message from her boyfriend during Untucked. I think it’s fair to say that after a 3rd time in a Lipsync a Queen truly realises they are filler. Now where Ra’Jah went wrong was trying to investigate all of this like a dark, edgy reboot of Nancy Drew in the DC movie universe. She also had a multitude of crossed wires, Plastique mentioning that her being gay and doing drag had caused a lot of heartache in her family and then her boyfriend saying that her mom and ___ were missing her. I would hazard a guess that Plastique’s aforementioned family were extended older relatives.
It wasn’t a cute week for Ra’Jah and she is feeling it on social media – she’s truly The Jasmine Masters of Season 11 but without any of the meme clout.
Nina Vs The Runway
Truly the conflict of the season is between Nina West and her absolute battery of that mainstage runway, TOE TO HEEL NINA, TOE TO HEEL. Even the weird bringing of Alyssa Edwards to coach them on their runway, because if there’s anything we remember about Alyssa it’s her runway walk….?
In fact I think Alyssa made things even worse. GET MISS J IN, WE’VE WANTED IT FOR YEARS.
She’s Back, Back, Back, Back Again
Continuing the season’s theme of returning Queens, Alyssa showed up again to spout off a constant stream of references that I’m not entirely sure she understands interspersed with tongue-pops – truly The Brand Queen. Her main job seemed to be to coach the Queens on their runway walks because they have been quite the disaster this year – I will maintain until my dying day that Ra’Jah had the best runway walk of the season. It’s pretty obvious that the Queens weren’t taking it seriously in any way because Vanjie just full on skips down the runway at 50 mph, although I would appreciate it if she actually did pull this face at the end of the runway every time
Brooke finally gets called out for being a bit passive in her runway walk, she’s elegant but it’s not enough – I’m not sure telling her to point more was the best advice but this is Alyssa. Still trying to work out why Alyssa was so proud of Plastique for walking out barefoot though? Yvie does her best yoga routine purely to spite Silky for telling Ru that she should eliminate Yvie for having a sprained ankle – something the internet seems to be turning into Silky being ableist but I think when you’ve got all the girls doing a terrible line dancing routine and you’re going to tell Ra’Jah she wasn’t present in the routine when Yvie is on the sidelines playing a fake fiddle it seems like a valid reason to be a bit irritated.
First and foremost, Michelle has never looked more stunning
Back to our regular schedule now. I have a full runway ranking and commentary here. It was a perfectly passable runway, I do think there was a distinct lack of materials available because we ended up with A LOT of very short dresses in a variety of bland, washed out colours. I still think Silky and Shuga were robbed of high placements
Yvie had real issues with Silky’s dress being “just beans” and well, calm down Queen, you just hung raffia from a corset
The other top was Plastique and she managed to prevent being called out for yet another corset just because she was this carrying this entire episode on her back and she needed some sort of reward for Ru making her cry. It was also just a very good corset though AND GODDAMN IS SHE BEAUTIFUL
A’keria was this week’s tragedy having to retcon her first idea after her “organic dye” didn’t work and she ended with denim Miranda Priestly
(SHE WOULD NEVER) but even her wig and makeup were kind of a mess this week. Nina managed to avoid the bottom 2 again purely because Ra’Jah’s trousers split at the seems and she looked a bit too much like a literal tree. She tried to spin a very symbolic story out of but it wasn’t an emotional enough narrative to lift her from the bottom 2.
It was very much a going through the motions lipsync, everyone knew Ra’Jah wasn’t surviving a 4th lipsync – I’m honestly surprised her trousers survived the entire performance – her wig however did not, thankfully she didn’t hammer throwing it to the back of the stage ala Venus D’Lite
But I’m not sure just carrying it around like a prize fish was the best idea either
A’keria managed a pretty good performance even with the limitations of the two tortoises she was smuggling in those shoulders. It was of course ultimately goodbye to Ra’Jah who I still enjoy but maybe don’t attack the Blair St. Clair of the season? I eagerly await both the salty as fuck mirror message and the reunion.
Drag Queens Drinking
As a palate cleanser let’s just take a look at our favourite Drag Race subgenre: Drag Queens and Straws