Have you recovered from Allstars 4? No me neither. But this episode did confirm that I do still love a regular season, even if the tagline of “Go Wig or Go Home” is High Cringe. It’s also a bumper season with 15 queens, which is exactly what we needed amidst the life sapping Drag Race fatigue – there had better be a triple elimination somewhere.
It’s always nice to get past queens back in a non-Allstars format and this was a great Mini Challenge and almost certainly a test of fan reactions to certain Queens and casting for Allstars 5 (I’M EXHAUSTED ALREADY). I personally screamed when Mariah Balenciaga, aka Mariah Paris, aka Mariah Successful showed up looking like a glamourous Queen’s Guard, I wish she had posed with Brooke Lynn Hytes. The challenge was to take a successful photo in a Drag Race version of Diana Vreeland’s infamous Red Room and not be outshone by the Drag Race alumni that you’re posing with – it’s really not that much of an issue given amongst the queens are Derrick Barry “doing drag now”. Vanjie however made sure she wasn’t going to be outshone by Farrah Moan and made her face the wall and literally stood in front of her so you could maybe only see her ear. Less successful was Mercedes but she was having to pose with Delta Work so I don’t blame her really. Silky wins the challenge because we need to rub a couple of queens up the wrong way but photo-wise it was definitely between Yvie Oddly and Adore Delano’s Angry Punk Cocktail Party and Brooke and Ongina’s Mounting The Mountie moment.
How Do You Solve a Problem Like Silky?
Ahead of the premier Silky was one of the queens everyone was talking about, she and Vanjie were the only ones to come through the VH1 Live RuVeal with their souls still intact and some catch phrases to boot – although both of them seem to be competing for who owns “cookies”. And then there were the press days where Silky pretty much steamrolled EVERYONE, including most of the moderators, which lead to many passive aggressive tweets from Ariel Versace.
And then came the first episode and oh, how tides turned. Proclaiming aloud that she was here for a spin-off show and to create as much merch as possible and she was not here to make friends, she didn’t even bother to learn names and Ariel and Kahanna are now only known as Area and Colonic, sorry ‘bout it. But yes, Silky is A LOT, and there is a touch of the Eureka about her saying every joke that comes to mind, but at the end of the day, did the other queens do anything to actually warrant NOT giving Silky the airtime? It’s a produced TV show, you kind of have to go out of your way to make it happen? in the words of Monique Heart “chirp chirp little bird”. In this situation the only people I feel even remotely sorry for are the editors who have to find away of cutting around Silky’s unending stream of consciousness, truly the underdogs of the competition.
A’keria C Davenport-Deetz
So the VT looks are in and A’keria’s Lydia Deetz cosplay is the obvious winner. Special mention to Vanjie’s neckerchief and Ra’jah’s Olympic gymnastics coach realness.
Miley Among Us
I enjoy it when the first episode guest judge infiltrate the Werk Room – not that it’s every terribly convincing, I mean Miley literally looked like she had glued wood chippings to her face and was rumbled within minutes of interacting with the queens, mostly because Silky has an innate ability to hone in on anything that’ll give her A Moment, and takes the chance to give Miley a piggyback while screaming “I’M COMING IN LIKE A WRECKING BALL” and most likely giving the floormanager a heart attack because after giving away $200,000 away on Allstars 4, I’m not sure they could afford to damage a guest star. They also can’t afford a Miley Cyrus song and the Lipsync For Your Life is… Best of Both Worlds by Hannah Montana… It’s a choice.
She also got to show up backstage to impart some extra Dolly Parton wisdom on the Queens, and everyone gathered around unlike that time Lena Dunham showed up and Kameron Michaels ignored her and just stared into the mirror. Silky gets down on one knee and asks Miley to buy her a cheeseburger, because she can?
There have been A LOT of excuses on the runway but I think “I have a cyst on my taint” might just be the weirdest one? Although Jasmine Masters’ Glue Gives Me Hives still perplexes me. And of course because this is the one thing everyone will remember Soju for she, in truly Yuhua Hamasaki fashion, has turned “Cyster” into merchandise… Get it where you can I suppose.